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2009 Year in Review

2009-12-31T12:31:00.034-05:00

Well, it's New Year's Eve 2009. A time to reflect on the year passed, a time to anticipate the year ahead, but most importantly a time for Get Distracted's Year in Review. The Year in Review post started as a way to sum up a year's worth of blog posts in one cohesive entry, but it seems that The Year in Review has become the only real post that I do each year so I apologize for that.

A lot of people have been coming up to me on the street and asking me if I was going to do a Decade in Review post as the Aughties (the 00's) are coming to a close. Many media outlets have been churning out 'Decade in Review' posts this month as if the Aughties have had a defining or disguinshing aesthetic or sound like decades of the past.

I feel like that in this modern world, pop culture, entertainment and music changes and evolves so quickly that it is impossible to classify the 00's in the same way we classified the 70's, 80's or 90's. With that in mind, I am going to stick with the year in review.

One of the first significant events of 2K9 was the inauguration of President Barack Obama which happened in late January. The Bush years were over and, like a phoenix rising from the ashes, America was ready for a fresh start and a new life.

Which brings us to the first category.

Best Album: Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix

The name of the album refers to Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and the title track Lisztomania is a reference to a film about the classical pianist and composer Frans Liszt. From these two references it is apparent that Phoenix definitely had classical music on their mind when they were writing this album. I like to think of this album as a classical suite, where each song is a variation on a theme. The chord structure remains very similar throughout the album, and I find every time I hear one of the songs on shuffle, I'm compelled to listen to the whole album.

Despite the album's complex production, they are still amazing live. I saw this band perform in Toronto (appropriately at the Phoenix Concert Hall) and they put on a great show. Even though it was Monday night people were rocking out.

Honorable Mentions: The Polaris Short List

This year the Polaris Short List showcased the breadth of musical talent that exists in contemporary Canadian music. Although Fucked Up took home the ultimate prize, I thought all of the nominees put out amazing albums. Here they are in case you missed one. The art shown is the original poster made for each Polaris nominee.

Elliott Brood - Mountain Meadows

Fucked Up - Chemistry of Common Life

Great Lake Swimmers - Lost Channels

Hey Rosetta - Into Your Lungs
K'naan - Troubadour

Malajube -Labyrinthes

Metric - Fantasies

Joel Plaskett - Three

Chad Van Gaalen - The Soft Airplane

Patrick Watson - Wooden Arms

Best Concert of the Year: Animal Collective at the Sound Academy May 16, 2009

This show was unbelievable from start to finish. I had seen Animal Collective before at an outdoor festival, but I think music like this is best enjoyed in a club setting. They played a variety of new and old songs, some of which I had never heard before, but the whole vibe of the show was unreal. A lot of ambiance, pulsating rhythms and many a primal scream.

Best New Social Networking Thing:

I know last year I bashed Twitter because I was young and naive, but I have since learned the error of my ways. Although Twitter can be used for all the wrong reasons, I truly believe that it has revolutionized the way we browse the internet. I would go as far as to say that Twitter is the TV Guide of the Internet. Think about it.

In other news, there are a few new social networking things that are gaining some buzz that I thought I should mention.

Google Wave :

All hail our benevolent dicatator Google. I have come to realize that Google can do no wrong, therefore I embraced Google Wave even though I don't understand what it does. I think it's main strength is for group projects, where a group of people can track edits and modifications to a document or media file. Either that or it will help you organize your softball team.

Foursquare :

Ok, this thing might be completely frivolous but I'm not sure yet so I won't knock it just yet. The idea behind Foursquare is that is connects users with places around a city, in such a way that your city is 'mapped' with places that your friends frequent. When you are in a certain restaurant or bar you 'check in' and are connected with everyone else there. Sound completely ridiculous? It could very well be.

Saddest Media Fiascos

1. Balloon Boy

Balloon Boy was the first indication that the journalists and news professionals had lost control of the news. When the balloon boy story broke, the instantaneous hype was so overwhelming that no one thought to investigate if the information that created the hype was even true. The frenetic speculation was what made the story what it was. It was a media fiasco in its purest form.

2. Michael Jackson

While Michael Jackson's death was obviously tragic, it did help to put to rest much of the controversy that plagued his career. Now that he is gone we can remember him for what he should be remembered for: his music. The man was a genius.

3. Tiger Woods

As a society we love to build up on-top-of-the-world celebrities and pro athletes and then destroy them as soon as they act human. We all loved Tiger as he won championship after championship but as soon as he messed up and cheated on his wife we reveled in his misery with delight. America loves a good fall from grace.

Best Novelty Sites:

Although the internet can be blamed for a lot of terrible things in today's society, it is also a great source of user-generated hilarity. Here is list of some of the choice novelty sites that make sitting in front of a computer screen for 10 hours a day that much more enjoyable.

This Is Why You're Fat

I had to stop looking at this site at work because it would make me cry it's so good. I feel a strange kinship with the sites contributors - hopefully my gastronomic masterpiece Le Chasseure will one day grace its hallowed pages.

Texts from Last Night:

The 'lighter side' of drunken debauchery

Lamebook

You'll be glad that you 'got out' of facebook before these maniacs took over.

and the list goes on. . .

www.tweetingtoohard.com
www.peopleofwalmart.com
www.fmylife.com

Best Movie of the Year: Avatar

We knew that when the guy who made Terminator 2, Aliens and Titanic spends 10 years making a movie its going to be amazing. Avatar did not disappoint. Upon viewing the trailer the blue Na'vi creatures from the planet Pandora seem a bit cheesy looking but once you're seated in the massive IMAX theatre and outfitted in your 3D glasses any potential criticism is dispelled as you watch the Avatar unfold. The visual effects are unlike anything you have ever seen and the story is engaging and timely. It takes a minute to get used to the 3D effect but once you are properly acclimatized you wonder how 2D movies ever existed. After I saw this movie I boldly claimed it to be the BEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME. Go see for yourself. I challenge you to be underwhelmed.

Honourable Mention: Funny People

This movie was hilarious and touching as we have come to expect from Judd Apatow, and although it dragged on a bit too long at the end, is definitely worth the watch. The soundtrack also features an awesome acoustic version of John Lennon's 'Watching the Wheels' Also, Aziz Ansari's Raaandy character was hilarious. check out his website http://www.laughyourdickoff.com/

Best TV Shows:

This fall was an amazing time to be a fan of great television. Between the HBO Sunday line-up and NBC's Thursday nights I don't know how things could get any better.

Sunday:

Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 7

I didn't think Larry David could top Season 6 but this season was just as hilarious/ridiculous/painful to watch. The highlight of this season was a full Seinfeld reunion show. I don't know if Curb is going on for another season, but I think Season 7 would be a perfect ending to a great series.

Bored To Death Season 1

A new HBO show starring Jason Schwartzman and Ted Danson which follows the misadventures of an aspiring writer/private detective in Brooklyn.

Mad Men Season 3

Best show on television? Probably. Although Season 3 gets even darker than Season 2 and there are a few questionable plot twists, Mad Men continues to be the best show on TV.

Thursday:

Parks and Recreation:

This new show was a bit derivative when it first started, it has come into its own midway through the season.

The Office:

The problem with American TV is that a series will never stop making new shows if its still profitable. Although the Office is still really good, I hope they call it quits before the show becomes complete nonsense. The past season it has shown signs of exhaustion.

30 Rock:

Consistently hilarious, maybe not as good last season but who am I to complain?

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

For those of you who haven't seen this show, please go out and buy seasons 1-4 on DVD and enjoy. The characters in It's Always Sunny are the first to embody the laziness, apathy and sense of entitlement that has come to define our generation. This show is amazing. They show it on FX in the States and a few months later on Showcase in Canada. Megavideo is always an option too.

That's it for this year. Check out our twitter page for more bloggable memes and embeddable links.

Fall Concert Guide

2009-10-13T14:58:00.003-05:00

Well, it's fall in the big city, and as the temperatures drop and the days get shorter, a bunch of great bands are about to descend upon Toronto. Here are a few shows you should try to check out.

Darwin Deez October 30th @ El Mocambo

I heard about Darwin Deez in the spring, the songs 'Bad Day' and 'Radar Detector' are insanely addictive. Give them a listen:

http://www.myspace.com/darwindeez

Elliott Brood October 30th @ Opera House

Elliott Brood was recently nominated for the coveted Polaris Music Prize and I had the opportunity to see them live at the awards gala. They rocked out for their two-song performance, I'm sure a full set would be amazing. Unfortunately, this concert falls on the same day as Darwin Deez. I've got some serious thinking to do. . .

http://www.myspace.com/elliottbrood

Modeselektor November 4th @ Mod Club

Modeselektor is one half of the band Moderat which I have been getting into these last few weeks. They have a very cool sound: electronic, ambient, and hauntingly catchy. I think this show is going to be awesome.

http://www.myspace.com/moderat

Girls November 10th @ El Mocambo

The first time I heard Hellhole Ratrace I felt like I had heard it before. Not because it is unoriginal, but because the song is so perfect that its existence seems like the most natural thing in the world. The album is great, too.

It seems like with a lot of these new bands, the blogs hype them up to a point that no live show could ever live up to the audiences expectations. Girls seems different. I'm confident that this band will restore confidence in the internet hype machine.

http://www.myspace.com/girls

Rural Alberta Advantage November 20th

If you haven't heard Hometowns yet, I suggest you go to your local record store, pick up a copy and throw it on the old car stereo. It's damn good road trip music. 'Drain the Blood' and 'Edmonton' are two of my personal favourites.

http://www.myspace.com/theraa

Hey Rosetta! Dec 4-5 @ Horseshoe Tavern

Hey Rosetta! is another Polaris Prize finalist. These guys killed it at the awards gala, and I'm sure that they will bring the same intensity to the Horseshoe. Definitely worth some permanent hearing loss.

http://www.myspace.com/heyrosetta

That's it for now. Enjoy the shows.

Nomo - Live at El Mocambo

2009-04-03T13:04:00.009-05:00

Last night I had the opportunity to see Nomo at the El Mocambo. I went into the show knowing very little about the band, I had heard a few songs on their myspace but that was it. I knew that they played afrobeat music and they were from Chicago and that was good enough. Since I've been getting into the habit of pretending that Thursday night is the start of the weekend, I jumped at the opportunity to go out and party.

I arrived at the El Mocambo around 10:30, and it was pretty empty. I had seen Malajube play there a couple of weeks ago to a packed house, so this was a bit of a change. I walked up to the bar and ordered a Labatt 50 only to find out that they were out.

"No Labbatt 50 at an afrobeat show at the El Mocambo? Am I in some bizarro world or something?" Not to worry, I ordered a Kieth's (not quite hipster-approved but delicious nonetheless) and moved up to the stage, where the band was getting ready.

If you are not familiar with Afrobeat music, I suggest you listen to some Nomo to get a better understanding of what it's all about. http://www.myspace.com/nomomusic Basically it involves a lot of brass instruments, cool beats, and improvised solos. I really think that it's a genre of music that is best experienced live.

The band consisted of two drummers, a saxophone/keyboardist, a trumpeter and a baritone saxophonist. Sometimes the second drummer would pick up a guitar, but as my friend Bryce remarked "You know, the guitar is cool and all, but what this song really needs is two drummers." The keyboardist would also play his homemade electric caramba sometimes.

All in all, the show was tight, eclectic, and made your feet move. Despite the crowd being a bit sparse, the people who were there were ready to have a good time. And for a small show there were a large number of Toronto music scene up-and-comers in attendance: Two members of the now defunct punk outfit Clock Strikes Music http://www.myspace.com/clockstrikes were in attendance as well as two members of the acclaimed Rexdale band Hot Soft Light, now going by the name The Big Aristotle.

For the band's encore, the band came down to floor level and started an impromptu jam amongst the crowd. This was one of the coolest concert experiences I have had in a while. The crowd began chanting and singing along with the music and it really felt like the audience and the band had connected on a whole other level. It was really great. Apparently, this was the last show of their tour, hopefully the next time they're in Toronto we'll get a good crew together and have a great night rocking out to Afrobeat.

The End of blogging?

2009-03-19T14:01:00.004-05:00

Faithful readers. I know it has been a while since my last post. For this I apologize. I will try to get back to work and get some new posts up on the site soon.

In the meantime, check out the twitter version of the blog at twitter.com/getdistracted. It is almost as mindless as my regular blog posts, however it is limited to 140 characters so you only need to take it in small doses.

Best regards from everyone here at the Get Distracted head office.

2008 Year in Review

2008-12-26T10:59:00.024-05:00

Well, it's that time of the year again. Time for us to look back and celebrate all the things that made existence tolerable this year and chastise and mock all the things that made us hope that us humans would go the way of the Dodo. So here we go, fasten your seat belts it's time for Get Distracted's 2008 Year in Review!

Best Album of the Year:
Born Ruffians - Red, Yellow, and Blue
This album came out at the start of the year, and although it suffered from being overplayed over the year (mostly due to the 55 Charles foosball crowd), it's still a great listen. The melodies are catchy, the lyrics insightful, and the instrumentation lets us know that three-piece bands can still rock out with the best of them. The perfect arrangement of the guitar, bass, drums and three part harmonies fill up your ears with a unique wall of sound. I saw these dudes perform at Lee's Palace in April and they did not disappoint. I was getting annoyed looks from everyone around me because I was singing along to all the songs but can you blame me? Also, what makes these guys even better is that they are Canadian.

Best Concert of the Year:
Radiohead, Molson Amphitheatre, Toronto, August 15, 2008
This may have been an obvious choice considering the amount of attention Radiohead's new album has been getting, but this was truly a great concert experience. Let me try to paint you a picture:
We arrive to the Ampitheatre and it's pouring rain. We're trying to catch the opening band, Grizzly Bear, but like any large-scale concert in Toronto, security is doing their best to ensure that no one enjoys themself. Despite this we make it in as Grizzly Bear is starting to play their new song, "Two Weeks." The rain is still pouring down, but as Grizzly Bear finishes up, the rain subsides and a huge rainbow forms over the Toronto waterfront, uncannily appropriate considering the title of Radiohead's new album, In Rainbows. The craziest part of all of this was that my brother informed us that the exact same thing had happened at the Radiohead concert he had attended in Montreal a week prior. Thom Yorke had explained to the crowd that "the rain has followed us everywhere on this tour." I know cloud seeding technology is still in its early stages of development, but if anyone was going to control the weather as part of their show's special effects, it would be Radiohead. It was an unbelievable moment.

The show itself was great. Playing a good mix of new and old tracks, they pleased everyone. Even songs they played from Hail to the Thief, an album I've never been that into, were played with such prowess that it prompted me to go back to and re-evaluate the whole album. This concert was amazing. I remember feeling so inspired that I decided I was going to quit my job and dedicate my life to making music (didn't happen).

Loudest Concert of the Year:
The Walkmen, Horseshoe Tavern, September 10, 2008
The Walkmen, who released their fourth album this year, have been receiving a lot of media attention this year. For the record, I was there when they were playing high-school auditoriums in Ottawa in 'o7. The Walkmen are one of my favourite bands and I was really excited to see them in a proper venue but Holy Jeez was this show loud! It was funny because lead singer Hamilton Leithauser even commented on the deafening noise they were creating. "This is great venue you guys have here... I remember the last time I saw a show here, it was about the same time I first started noticing the problems in my right ear. " As the show went on the band kept rocking out, and it sounded amazing, except you could almost feel your poor little ear drums being pummeled. The next day at work I was completely fucked, it sounded like church bells were ringing in my ears all day.

The moral of the story is don't go see shows at the Horseshoe, or if you do, be one of those nerds who wears earplugs, or alternatively, be one of those assholes that hang out at the bar and drink and talk loudly throughout the show. (I prefer the latter)

Best New Band:
Fucked Up
Okay, I know these guys aren't really new, but Pitchfork didn't tell me they were relevant until recently, so I didn't know about them. Speaking of which, I'd like to say a little something about the love-hate relationship I have with Pitchfork Media. I think Pitchfork Media is a great source for finding out what new music is out there. However, I think basing your opinion of a band or an album on the Pitchfork rating is a bit nutty. But that's just my "two cents". Back to Fucked Up:

4 Reasons to Listen to Fucked Up:
1. They're from Toronto
2. They're buddies with the likes of Dallas Green and Sebastien Granger
3. The band members have names like "Father Damian" and "10,000 Marbles"
4. They sound good

Best Comeback:
Guns 'n' Roses - Chinese Democracy
We waited 15 long years for this album to come out and we were not disappointed. The album gave us everything we could have expected: Amazing production quality, crazy guitar solos, theatric song structure, and signature W. Axl Rose vocals. I felt really happy for Axl that he finally got this album done, comparable to Brian Wilson's Smile achievement. Artistic merit is one thing in the music industry, I think artistic vision is just as important.

Best Blog:
BlogTO

Although it seems the Toronto blog scene is getting a bit incestuous, BlogTO is always there to give you the info you need to know. Whether they're mocking the TTC, touting some new restaurant that will invariably go out of business in the next three months, or posting some artsy pics of the Don Valley parkway at dawn, BlogTO will help you while away those nonchargeable hours at work.

Best TV Show:
Kenny vs. Spenny
Wow, this show is good. Despite rumours of the show being canceled, I was pleasantly surprised in September when I found that there was a whole new season of Kenny vs. Spenny awaiting me. They have really been taking things to a new level this season, with such episode concepts as "Who Can Bone More Women" and "Who Can Hold a Dump in their Pants Longest." Amazing.

Best New TV Show:
Testees

This show, the brainchild of Kenny vs. Spenny's Kenny Hotz, follows the lives of two twenty-somethings living in Toronto who make their living as human test subjects. Each week, Ron and Peter test a new product and suffer through a variety of side-effects with hilarious results. If you're anything like me (i.e. an idiot), this show will crack you up.

Stupidest New Social Networking Thingy:
Twitter
Now I'm sure I will change my tune once I have signed up for Twitter and I have quadrupled the amount of incoming and outgoing text messages, however, while I am still naive to its addictive qualities I will publicly denounce it. WE DON'T NEED MORE WAYS TO WASTE TIME ON OUR CELL-PHONES AND THE INTERNET. Yours truly, Me.

Best Radio Station:
CBC
Call me an old fogy, but I think the CBC is great. Think of it, instead of listening to the "Friday Morning Fart Show" on the Dean Blundel show, you could be listening to the news and learning about whats going on around you. Think about it.

Most Popular Topic of Conversation:
The Financial Crisis

Despite the fact that most people are uninformed on the subject, everyone loves talking about the financial crisis and/or recession. As one of my friends pointed out, discussing the financial crisis is right up there with discussing the weather. Most people's thoughts on the current financial climate are about as valid and relevant as your neighbour's thoughts on the chance of precipitation later in the day. "Looks like it might snow again, eh?"

Best New Architecture in Toronto:
Art Gallery of Ontario

If you have not yet visited the AGO, I highly recommend it . Unlike it's retarded cousin, the ROM, the new AGO was actually purpose-built. Gehry has skillfully reconfigured the building to give one a sense of entrance as you walk into the main atrium. The new Galleria Italia is an amazing space that awes you every time you walk into it. The Douglas Fir beams that support the immense glass structure fit in perfectly with the context of the Group of Seven art on the second floor that focuses on the natural environment. Gehry did his homework on this one. Also, the view of the back of the building from the Grange Park is very cool. Check it out.

Best New Author:
Jared Greenspan

If you haven't read Jared Greenspan's new book "These Words Don't Rhyme" then you are in for a treat. This collection of short stories is the first book from a hilarious new author.

Best/Stupidest YouTube Clip of the Year:
Balloon Fail

This guy ordered a weather balloon from South America in order to attempt to - wait for it - climb inside.

check it out

Best lines:

"This is why I need a spotter!"

"I hate this!"

I know this list is getting less and less relevant so I'll leave you with this.

Best Email Thread of the Year:
December 3, 2008

Email threads are a great way to organize social events, communicate with a large group of friends, and most importantly kill time at work. Here is an email thread from earlier this month between me and my "friend" Jared, to which ten other people were unfortunately subjected to.

Tristan:

Hey Guys,
It's Duncan's birthday on Friday; we're heading to the Bier Markt to celebrate. I know he would be thrilled to see you guys there. Hope everyone's having a good hump day.
T-bone

Jared:

I hate you, Tristan.
Hate.

That is all I have to say about anything.

Oh, and sure, I’ll come.

Tristan:

Jared, you only hate me because you hate yourself. I don't blame you, I'd definitely hate myself if I woke up every morning and saw your face in the mirror. I'd rather wake up as a giant cockroach.

Oh, and I'm really glad you're coming to the party. Duncan will be really glad to see you.

Jared:

Tristan, you motherfucking son of a bitch. To even continue conversing with a mongoloid fuck like yourself is an exercise in the greatest futility. You are a vacuum of good, and I’d rather get a hand job from Edward Scissorhands than spend time with you.

But I’m looking forward to seeing you on Friday. Cheers!

Tristan:

Jared,

Your very existence is proof that the human species is on the decline. We can only hope that you never pro-create. The world does not need another you, or anything like you. It is a tragedy that your mother did not go through with the abortion; I'm sure it is one of her great regrets in life.

You bring nothing to the world. The only thing you have ever created is pain and suffering for those unfortunate enough to have known you. You are the worst. You are the worst person I have ever met. Please, for the love of God and the good of humanity, take your own life.

Best regards,

Tristan

Jared:

My Dear Friend Tristan,

When the day of reckoning finally comes, and all humanity burns in the Lake of Fire for its sins against God and Man, I will be the only person smiling; for I will finally be rid of living in a world in which Tristan Whitehead not only lives nears me, but lives period. You are poison to our species, a plague on the world and the sooner we can get over with this charade the better.

When people ask me, “Jared, why are you so bitter,” I respond, “Because murder is against the law and Tristan Whitehead is alive.” It is only thanks to my lifelong belief in Law and Order (both the television show and the concept) that I have not yet used a can opener to extract your brains from your skull, that I haven’t yet taken a chainsaw and carved off your body parts one at a time until I went bowling with your head.

In summation, you are a human atrocity.

Let’s do wings soon.

Jared.

Tristan:

Dearest Jared,
Let me first say how disgusted I was by your most recent correspondence. Not by it's content, rather, by the thought that you continue to exist. It was my hope that upon reading my last note you would do us all a favour and kill yourself. It seems, however, that you are as stupid as you are annoying and you cannot take a hint. Although, I could try to convince you to commit suicide all day, I feel like I am wasting my time. I therefore propose a fight to the death next Tuesday after wings. The rules are simple: There are no rules. The fight lasts until one of us is dead. If I kill you, everyone will be happier. If you kill me, everyone else suffers but at least I will no longer have to live in a world where someone like you isn't drowned at birth. So either way I win. Does St. Louis work for you? I'm thinking the Davisville one.
Let me know,
Tristan

Jared:

Tristan,
The elimination of you as an individual in this human endeavor is something that we should all be looking forward to, that we can all cherish as a notion. Therefore, I accept your challenge, if I have to consider it as being one. For this will be a man versus a Tristan, a human being versus a slug, a regular joe against a fucking douche nozzle.
I will destroy everything about you until you are a quivering pile of post-human.

Wings it is!

Jared.

That's all for this year, have a happy holiday!

The Disposability of Rock n' Roll

2008-10-10T10:28:00.009-05:00

Is anyone else concerned by how quickly we consume and discard new music these days? I was at a Plants and Animals show a few weeks ago, and during the show I was lamenting the fact that my interest in the band had already peaked after only two weeks of hearing that they even existed. The system that we have allows us to access complete discographies of bands within minutes of hearing about them. We listen to the music fervently when it's still new and fresh. When the band comes to town, we go see them live, buy a t-shirt, go home and forget about it. The next day, we find a new band.

When I was a young lad, growing up in the wilds of the Canadian National Capital region, a rock band was not something that one simply snatched up, used up and threw away. It was something that was savored, cherished, and studied. I think I spent 7 years of my adolescence listening to Pearl Jam before I got to see them live. Now, I know much has changed in the world of music distribution, and the days of going to a record store to buy your music are a thing of the past. All I'm saying is that the music world, like many things in our modern society, seems to be moving too fast.

So my question is this: Has music simply become another consumer good, mass produced, distributed, consumed and then disposed? I would like to think not, but as I stood watching Plants and Animals, I felt a great sadness in the way I perceived the indie rock scene at the moment: An assembly line of new bands, fueled by internet hype machines and buzz blogs. It's like no one's taking time to sit back and really absorb the music, we are simply buying, consuming and disposing it, like your morning Orange Mochafrappacino from Starbucks.

Now, I have a friend, let's call him B. Isopp... (actually that's much too obvious, let's call him Bernty I.) He sees this issue in a much more positive light. He looks at the music industry in its current form as an efficient machine, cranking out constant entertainment for the masses. Thanks to iTunes and Amie Street and a plethora of other legal music download sites, anyone anywhere can access music once reserved for those who live in cities. Which, in itself, is truly a great thing.

We live in a society constantly bombarded with media, and I fear that the human of the future will resemble the fat idiot depicted in that delightful movie Wall-E. Maybe I'm just sick of letting the internet tell me what music to listen to. The problem is that it is always right! Maybe that's what will distinguish the age of the internet. It will be known as the death of Subjectivism. . .or maybe the dawn of neo-Subjectivism?. . . Ok, I'll stop now.

Some final questions for you to ponder:

Is consuming a large amount of media a good thing?
Is appreciating art a self-serving distraction or does it have intrinsic value?

Pitchfork Music Festival

2008-07-26T12:33:00.012-05:00

This last weekend I was fortunate enough to go to Chicago to attend the Pitchfork Music Festival. The festival has been going on for several years now, and features performances by many of the elite indie bands of the day, handpicked by Pitchfork Media staff. I thought I'd give you a rundown of the concerts I was able to see, and my thoughts on the festival.

Day 1
The first night of the festival was put on in collaboration with All Tomorrow's Parties, which is a UK based company that puts on concerts around the world. The highlight of the night was Public Enemy, reunited to perform their seminal album "It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back" in its entirety. What we witnessed was what Britt Daniel would later describe as "insane," which I couldn't agree with more.

The performance did not get off to a good start. There were two major issues. Firstly, Chuck D's mic was not working properly; his voice was all muddled and quiet. Secondly, Flavor Flav was not present. As you can imagine, this significantly took away from the first song they performed, Bring the Noise. The mic was replaced and Flavor Flav found his way to the stage, and they continued the set. Things first got awkward when, between songs, Chuch D berates Flavor Flav for "leavin' me hangin'" on Bring the Noise. Flavor Flav pleads with Chuck that he was backstage and that they shouldn't have started the set without him. Neither Chuck nor Flav seem like they're too fond of one another.

The next incident made things worse. In between songs, Flavor Flav takes a minute to thank the audience for making him the number one reality show on TV. Why he felt compelled to bring up his reality TV career at what was supposed to be a night honouring one of the greatest rap albums ever made is beyond me, but he crossed that line, and the Pitchfork crowd called him on it with resounding Boos. Flavor Flav did not take it well. I thing his response was something like this:

"You think you can boo me? Fuck You! You think you can fucking boo Flavor Flav? You should be booing your fucking spouse!"

Ugh.

The performance continued, interrupted only by Flavor Flav calling out one of his bandmates for lip-syncing and then clearly lip-syncing himself, among other cringe-inducing antics, like Chuck D leaving the stage, clearly disgusted with Flav's behaviour. Despite all this, there were some high points, when Public Enemy broke into Louder Than a Bomb, people actually starting to rock out, which was surprising.

The whole show seemed a surreal: A rap group that reached their artistic peak nearly twenty years ago performing racially charged songs in front of a bunch of white upper middle-class twenty-somethings who really know nothing of the struggles on which the songs are based seemed wrong. I know I shouldn't assume that a white upper middle-class twenty-something can't appreciate the message of the songs, all I'm saying is that it was a weird vibe, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who felt that way. I'll stand by my preconceived notion that it's never a good idea to see artists performing past their prime.

Day 2
Saturday was jam-packed with great performances, so many in fact that it was almost impossible to take in everything you wanted to. The first act I saw was Fleet Foxes, which is a great new band from Seattle that plays a unique brand of harmonious folk-pop that combines early Simon & Garfunkle or Beach Boys vocal harmonies with backwoods instrumentation. The songs are melancholy and catchy crafted with pop sensibility. I really enjoyed their performance. They went on right when I got there, and I'm proud to say I didn't even try to grab a beer before they went on, just in case I got stuck in line and missed a song.

The next performance of note was Vampire Weekend, which is a band we all remember from last fall when they became the biggest band in North America overnight thanks to internet hype. I enjoyed their songs, but wasn't blown away. They did play a few new songs which sounded pretty good.
The next band we watched was definitely one of the highlights of the festival, and that was The Hold Steady. They went on at 7 in the evening, which meant the sun was still up but the crowd had been at the festival sufficiently long enough to be in "party mode". If you've ever heard the Hold Steady, you know that they have a knack for writing party anthems, and the fist pumps were flying. They played a lot of older stuff, which I don't know as well as the new album, but the set was still amazing. At one point the lead singer Craig Finn said to the crowd "I hope you guys are having as much fun as we are!" which sort of summed up their performance.

The final performance of the day was Animal Collective, one of the most original bands out there and also one of the best. Their music was accompanied by a trippy light show which was quite impressive. The only problem with the set is that they had to follow The Hold Steady, after which I was understandably a bit burnt-out. Music festivals are hard work.

After the show we went to a festival after-party at Bottom Lounge on West Lake Street to catch Jay Reatard perform. Their set was good, however, after partying all day it's hard to rally for yet another concert.
Day 3

I'm not going to lie, Sunday morning was a painful one. Despite the collective pleas of our festival-weathered bodies, we headed back to Union Park on the El train, determined to keep having a great time. King Khan and the Shrines, a band which has been receiving a lot of media attention as of late, went on shortly after we arrived. They've got a sort of retro funk/soul sound which is complimented with an amazing/manic stage presence. Although the set sounded great, it was 3 o'clock in the afternoon, and I was not quite ready to rock out yet.

The highlight of the afternoon was Brit-rockers Spiritualized. I've been listening to the new album Songs in A&E quite a lot lately and they even opened with my favourite song You Lie You Cheat. The set seemed almost medicinal, wiping away the crowds hangovers with soothing melodies and soundscapes.
As the day was ending, I was finally feeling normal again and ready to rock out to the grand finale: Spoon. If you haven't heard Spoon's album Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga from last summer then you're in for a treat. I had posted up near the front of the stage during Dinosaur Jr.'s set so I was right in the mix. They played alot of older stuff but the new songs they played were accompanied by a full horn section which sounded amazing. A fitting end to an epic festival.

All in all, the festival was pretty fun. I had never been to Chicago before, and it's definitely one of the most interesting cities in North America. It was fascinating learning about the architecture and planning of the city, other cities could learn a lot from the approach they've taken to urban design. As for the festival itself, it was fun being in the hotbed of the indie music scene. Though much of the time I felt like I wasn't cool enough to be there (which was definitely true), I was able to pick up a few of the newest trends that are making waves in the hipster scene:

1. Bike hats: you remember those little hats that competitive cyclists wear? Those are cool now. Pop up the brim for added irony.

2. Cut-offs: Obviously prompted by the trend-setting ways of Tobias Fuenke, cut-offs are back, and not just jean cut-offs, any old pants can be turned into cool shorts. One favourite was cut-off skinny jeans, if you're going for that painted-on look.

3. Sparks Energy Drink: I don't know if people actually liked this stuff or it was just clever marketing. This stuff is a 6% alcohol caffeinated drink that looked like nuclear waste and tasted worse. It's going be huge.

4. Being Rich: Apparently being rich is cool again. Having vast amounts of disposable income to spend on clothes, records, concerts tickets, drinks and sushi from the Whole Foods tent seems to be quite popular again. So, if you were concerned that being rich was going out of fashion, rest assured that its back. Don't be afraid to dip into that trust fund.

Well, I think that's it for now. If you have the chance to go to Chicago for whatever reason I would highly recommend it. And if you're going to a festival soon, remember to stay hydrated, eat vegetables and go easy on the Sparks.

To Blog or Not to Blog

2008-04-07T20:56:00.006-05:00

It's a crazy age we live in. The rise of the age of the internet has opened up many doors for humankind. A wealth of information that was previously unavailable to the vast majority is now just a click away. Do you ever have a question, and, instead of actually asking another person you simply google it? I know I do.

Just the other day me and my friends were wondering if you typed in "How do I get away with employing illegal immigrants?" to google would you get a good answer? The fact that we were even contemplating such a ludicrous internet search shows how powerful and ubiquitous it has truly become. Because for the most part, the internet comes through. Whether you're stalking people you hardly know on Facebook or looking for the nearest Wendy's restaurant, the internet has all the answers.

Apart from being the great resource that it is, the internet has also sparked the phenomenon of web-logging, or "blogging" as it colloquially known. The idea of a blog is simple. It's basically an online diary where any idiot with an internet connection can write down whatever they want on their blog and any other idiot can read it. Now I know what you're thinking. You think that I'm about to knock the whole concept of blogging and go into a whole self-deprecating spiel about how blogging is essentially literary diarrhea that serves no other purpose than distracting under-worked office workers with attention deficit disorder. But I'm not going to do that. For one, because I already did, in an earlier blog entry. But more importantly, I'm not going to knock blogging because I think its an important medium with which to document the evolution of human thought, no matter how stupid that thought may be.

Just think, while anthropologists of today studying our ancient relatives base their life's work on mere fossils and cave paintings, the anthropologists of the future will be able to pore over gigabytes of text, video, music and other assorted media created by the humans of the digital age.

Blogs, Message boards, YouTube videos, Word Documents, MP3's, and JPEGS. The list goes on. . . We're constantly creating artifacts of our existence and not even realizing it. What we are doing now is documenting the human experience.

And that's important. If only to let future generations know how completely and utterly moronic we all were. So that's that. GO START A BLOG! The future of epistemology could very well rest on your shoulders. . .

Canadian Music Week

2008-03-08T16:49:00.004-05:00

Last Wednesday I had the opportunity to go see Deerhoof at the Phoenix, a band which I have listened to for a number of years but had never seen live. The concert was part of the Eye Weekly sponsored "Canadian Music Week", where a number of concerts are staged throughout the week around the great city of Toronto.

When I arrived at the Phoenix, which is a spacious venue on Sherbourne street, Sebastien Granger and the Montagnes were preparing to go on. Sebastien Granger, for those of you who don't know, was the lead singer and drummer of the acclaimed pop thrash metal(?) band Death From Above 1979. Since the band broke up a couple of years ago, we haven't heard much from Sebastien, whereas his counterpart Jesse Keeler went on to form the successful electro-dance-punk MSTRKRFT (a name inspired by Canadian Tire's popular brand of well-made, yet affordable, power tools.) Sebastien's new band seems to have all the right building blocks of a successful new indie band (fashionable haircuts, moustaches, painted-on white jeans, and indie cred. . . ) but their songs were lacking that edge and originality that made a band like MSTRKRFT so popular. However, this band was miles above the following act, which I'm going to brazenly describe as THE WORST SET I HAVE EVER SEEN.

Ladies and Gentlemen,I give you No Age. The band No Age consists simply of a drummer/singer and a guitarist. The drummer can drum, I'll give you that, but his singing was terrible. The guitarist may be able to play guitar, but you can't tell because everything he plays is awash in distortion and prerecorded "ambiance". Any semblance of melody or chord structure was indiscernible and the instrumentation grating and convoluted. I could actually feel my ears being damaged from listening to this crap. Now, I know what you're saying: Man, this old guy doesn't know what he's talking about. . that shit was off the hook! I may be getting long in the tooth but I still appreciate a wide variety of music, and I'm not adverse to noise art either (music's bastardized cousin). But No Age was neither of these things. It was a perfect example of what happens when P4K hypes up a band that isn't actually talented. It seems as though people were enjoying this music because they were supposed to enjoy it, which I find shameful and tragic. By the end of the set I was so furious with No Age, and the destruction they were doing to my already-mangled ear drums, I threw my plastic beer cup towards the stage. (my apologies to the hipster I smoked in the back of the head.) I immediately regretted my redneck-esque behaviour, but I just couldn't take it anymore. If I'm going to ruin my hearing, I would like it to come from listening to music I actually enjoy.

Deerhoof got to the stage and put on a great show. They had a huge spinning propeller on stage that was lit up with LCD's and flashed in time with the music. It was very cool. Anyway. . .moral of the story: Sebastien Granger=nothing to scream about. No Age=worst band ever. Deerhoof=always entertaining.

Ian Curtis Smashed My Apartment

2008-02-02T10:29:00.000-05:00

Well, last night was Friday, so, as per usual, I went out with my asshole friends and got shitty drunk to celebrate the end of the work week. I had a pretty productive week; I worked alot, contemplated the nature of human existence, and even got to play around with the new loop pedal I got. But all that is meaningless now. Because Ian Curtis smashed my apartment.

It was around 3:30 in the morning. I was about to go to bed when my alcoholic roommate knocked violently on my bedroom door. "Yo," he said. "Drink this." I looked down and he was holding a freshly opened beer in his hand. "Umm," I stammered. "I was going to go to bed. . . don't know if I need another pint at this stage of my life. . ." I already knew I was going to give in. "Yes," he said. "You do."

I caved, grabbed the beer and headed into the living room, where my other two roomates were hanging out. Music was blaring and it was apparent that a massive game of foosball was about to go down.

The game went well, some good passes, some good chirps, everything seemed quite typical. That was before the Joy Division came on. Thats when things got stupid.

I know that music can evoke powerful emotions, but I've never seen anything like this. The song "Transmission" put everyone into a frenzy. Within two minutes, the apartment had been destroyed. The couch and the armchairs got flipped, bicycles were sent flying across the room. Paintings on the wall were ripped down and beer was strewn everywhere. It was a manic episode that seemed surreal. I couldn't believe what was happening. Why were we destroying our own apartment? What would compel anyone to do such a thing? But then I remembered we were listening to Joy Division and I decided that it was all Ian Curtis' fault.

I don't know why we did what we did. I don't know what our problem is. . .Are we nuts? Are we idiots? Are we assholes? Maybe a combination of the three. Regardless, we should be evicted. Moral of the Story: NO JOY DIVISION AFTER MIDNIGHT.

Year in Review 2007

2007-12-31T14:05:00.001-05:00

As I'm sure you've all noticed, this week all the hip blogs have been posting their Year in Review articles so we here at Get Distracted decided to compile a list of 'Albums of the Year'. Here we go. . .

The Decemberists - The Crane Wife
This album was technically released in 2006, but I was off on a spiritual journey in Australia, New Zealand and Southeast Asia at the start of the year so my music was a bit behind the times. This album was one of the first times I consciously forced myself to listen to the lyrics of the songs. Alot of times I listen to music simply for the melodies and instrumentation. (Probably why I'm such a terrible lyricist) Each song on this album tells a neat little short story with an old-timey theme. Murderous butchers who kill misbehaving children and ghosts of American Civil War soldiers are among the subjects of the songs on the Crane Wife. Interesting lyrics + great melodies = good listen. Listen to O Valencia.

The Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
No one knew what to expect of the sophomore effort from the indie media darlings The Arcade Fire. Many drew similarities between this album and the music of the legendary Bruce Springsteen. The influence is easy to hear on a song like 'Keep the Car Running.' The hurried vocals and driving beat sounds like Springsteen in a post-apocalyptic world. Obviously the Boss heard the influence as well; in the fall he invited Win and Regine on stage to perform 'Keep the Car Running' with him at his concert in Ottawa. Check it out here.

Muse - Black Holes and Revelations
If you asked me a year ago what I thought of Muse, the only thing I would be able to say is "I think they're really big in Quebec." The statement would be true, but until this year, I had never given Muse a chance. All I knew about them was there Thom Yorke-ish vocals and their popularity with our French counterparts. On my friends advice, I downloaded their new album and their previous album Absolution. The music has a Radiohead-type feel to it, but the instrumentation showcases a technical proficiency that would make any prog aficionado proud. Their show at Arrow Hall was a multimedia extravaganza, and at the end of the show I found myself in a trance, as if I just received an alien transmission into my brain. And I wasn't even that boozed up. Check out the video for Invincible

Menomena - Friend and Foe
A pretentious band name and a unique, non-offensive sound gave these up-and-comers a leg up in the over-saturated world of indie music this year. I still don't know how the band name should be pronounced. I always thought it should be pronounced like that song from The Muppets, but I still remember that jerk at Zaphods who pronounced it "Mee-No Mee-Nah" . What an ass. Menomena - Muscle n' Flo

The Thermals - The Body, The Blood, The Machine
I'm pretty sure The Thermals use the same four chords throughout this entire album, but, like a trendy hybrid car, they do more with less. If you think you might like punk music but you're sort of scared to try it out, The Thermals are a good way to ease you into it. Their unique brand of post-pop-punk-neo-grunge is perfected on this album. I like listening to this album while playing foosball or doing something active. It will get you riled. The Thermals - Here's Your Future

Broken Social Scene presents Kevin Drew - Spirit If. . .
K. Drew and his gang return to form on this album. The result is a more intimate record much like the masterful You Forgot It In People. It's not technically a BSS record, but it might as well be. In the New Year, the next album in the series 'BSS presents Brendan Canning' is set to be released. I wait for this album with trepidation. Hopefully it's better than his inane stage banter. . . . K.Drew - Lucky Ones

Well that's all I got for now. The first time I wrote my year in review the entire entry was deleted right before I was about to post, so what you're reading is actually the 'second draft' of my year in review. You'll have to trust me that it was much more interesting, witty, and generally well-written the first time through. Anyway, I'll leave you with a few Bests and Worsts of the year. Enjoy.

Best Show of the Year: Interpol, New Capital Music Hall, Ottawa, ON. Best concert of my life.

Most Drunken Concert of the Year: Kanye West, Bluesfest, Ottawa, ON. Double-fisting Carling lagers pre-show and VIP tickets (with private beer tent) both contributed to near blackout sloppiness. I got a lot of great pictures though.

Best Venue: Lee's Palace, Toronto, ON: Whether seeing Built to Spill or Fat Robot, this venue is legendary. Located in the heart of the annex, after-show shwarmas are essential.

Worst Venue: Arrow Hall, Milton (?), ON. Toronto's a great city and all, but the GTA is a terrible sprawling suburban wasteland. The only way to get out to this venue is to drive or be driven. This makes the concert experience somewhat of a headache and severely detracts from its overall enjoyment. When I went to see Muse I missed the opening band (Cold War Kids) because they went on at 6:30. Well done, Arrow Hall. Word of advice: When in Toronto, never leave the metropolitan area. Its a dark and desolate place.

Freakiest Concert: Justice at Circa, Toronto, ON. Toronto's hipster freaks came out in full force from under their hot plates, making for an unforgettable show.

Best Guest Appearance: Hayden at The National, The Phoenix, Toronto, ON: For The National's encore, Hayden came up on stage and performed a great rendition of Dynamite Walls. Hayden is a Canadian folk-grunge legend, and seeing him onstage with a contemporary indie band like The National made me have some sort of weird religious awakening, like I realized that all music was connected or something. Whatever happened, it was sick. Listen to the song Dynamite Walls and it might make sense.

Best Record Store: Sonic Boom, Bloor & Bathurst, Toronto, ON. Contemporary vinyl aplenty and an endless supply of the most recent Vice magazine make this store a great destination.

Most Pretentious Record Store: Vertigo, Rideau St., Ottawa, ON
[after inquiring whether they had the new Gorillaz D-Sides album] "The Gorillaz?"

Best TV Documentary of the Year: Planet Earth: A treasure trove of fascinating footage of unique animal behaviour and natural landscapes. As Diego would say, "Twenty-somethings getting together and watching Planet Earth is the trendy thing to do these days."

Best TV Comedy Show: Kenny vs. Spenny. Watch full episodes here.

Best Movie of the Year: Control. This biography of Joy Division's Ian Curtis is amazing. I also recommend watching 24 Hour Party People if you're into the whole Manchester post-punk thing.

Worst Movie of the Year: Transformers. You will be upset that all the humans are not destroyed at the end of this movie. In math terms, this movie would be described as 'the lowest common denominator'

Ok that's it. All in all its been a good year. Friends became enemies, enemies became friends, lessons were learned and forgotten. Money was earned and squandered. Hearing was damaged. Such is the ebb and flow of life. We have 2008 to look forward to. The Constantines are hard at work on a new album and the Hollywood writer's strike is coming to an end. What more can you ask for?.. . I guess if we have the time we could all pitch in and maybe try to stop destroying the planet. . .or is that too much to ask? Is it still cool to be environmentally conscious? Or has it all been an elaborate marketing ploy? hmm. . . Anyways have a good New Year everyone. Don't drink too much champagne and keep blogging!

Big City Poutine

2007-12-10T20:57:00.000-05:00

It started innocently enough: I was sitting on my couch hungover this past Sunday, watching television while simultaneously looking up stupid and/or inane things on the internet. Being hungover and from Ottawa, my mind obviously wandered to poutine, and after reading the Wikipedia article on poutine I decided that I it was time for me to answer the question that I had been pondering lo these past 5 months in Toronto:

Can you get a good poutine in this city? And if so, where?

Obviously I've had a few run-ins with the Quebecois treat since I've moved to Toronto, but none of them had been that memorable. I'd eaten poutine several times at the New York Fries down at the Eaton Centre, but that hardly counts.

Though I will argue that the New York Fries poutine is one of the most delicious (and widely available) poutines you can get, I would never consider it a TRUE poutine, because it's made by a fast-food franchise.

A true poutine, i.e. one that follows the Quebecois Poutine Purity Laws of 1863, must be purchased at some sort of shack (possibly a truck converted into a shack) or a traditional quebecois "casse-croute", which is basically a fry shack with a cigarette machine in it as well.

The poutine must contain three ingredients (and only three ingredients). These three ingredients, which to many devout Quebecois have replaced the holy trinity, are as follows:

1. French Fries
2. Cheese Curd
3. Gravy

Nothing more, nothing less. No smoke meat on top. No bacon bits. No ketchup. No substituting the curd for grated cheese. No chicken gravy. No ground beef.

Stick to the formula.

And that was what I was looking for in Toronto. A traditional poutine that I would be able to serve my friends from Ottawa and Montreal and not feel ashamed. So, like any internet-savvy guy with unequivocal faith in the power of Google, I googled exactly what I wanted to know:

"Where can I find the best poutine in Toronto?"

Google responded with a nice smattering of message board posts on exactly that subject. (Yes, it's true, people are so bored that they have nothing better to do than argue about where one can get the best poutine in Toronto on message boards. However, because of them, I found my answer.)

By poring over user comments on several different websites, I was satisfied that I had found the place. "The blue truck at city hall" sounded like the place I was looking for. Real curd, healthy portions, and no fancy stuff. I was convinced.

I headed downtown towards the truck with an anxious anticipation that I had not felt in a long while. It was as though my opinion of the City of Toronto as a whole was resting solely in the hands of some unsuspecting poutine merchant. I was scared, I was nervous, but I was also quite hungry. Me and my two friends walked briskly towards our destination. Not much was said; we all knew what was riding on this 'tiner.

There it was in the distance. The blue truck! . . .I walked hurriedly to the truck and ordered a large poutine without even regarding the size of the large container. This is what had to be done.

True to the message boards, the poutine did not disappoint. Curds were large and juicy, the gravy dark, and the fries crunchy yet still succulent. It was a Quebec style poutine in the City of Toronto, served with the traditional cola. We even ate the poutine a la mode by the outdoor skating rink at Nathan Philips Square, which is the best way to enjoy the dish.

In olden times, it was customary for the Chasseures of New France to enjoy their poutine outside as they ice fished over frozen ponds. They believed that the smell of the poutine or "L'odeur du désordre" helped attract the fish, and they also believed the poutine would give them good luck until the spring thaw.

I don't know about good luck, but the poutine did fill me up and gave me hope that the City of Toronto wasn't just a barren urban jungle of Anglophiles and Leafs fans. And though the poutine was good, I'm convinced there's more out there, and I'll find them soon enough. Until next time.

10 Things

2007-12-02T19:00:00.000-05:00

5 Things that are good:

1. Apples - There's nothing like a good apple. Delicious, nutritious, and refreshing. What more could you ask for in a snack? The best part about an apple is that you don't even need to throw out the core. Just toss it on the ground and nature will take care of itself. If you're lucky, an apple tree will grow.

2. Local beer - I've started buying beer that is brewed locally. A couple of good ones are Steamwhistle, which is brewed at the Roundhouse by the Skydome, and Amsterdam which is brewed at a place on Bathurst Street.
Local beer = local shipping = less emissions from beer delivery trucks = less damage to the environment = you can feel smug about being such a responsible and caring citizen of the planet.
Everybody wins. And buying local isn't restricted to beer. A variety of local products are available to the general public (apples, for example).

3. Exercise - Who knew that the more you exercise the better you will feel? Oh yeah, everyone. I guess I didn't get the memo and in years past have been known to neglect exercise in favour of eating poutine and other sloth-like behaviour. But that's all going to change one these days. Exercise = good. Poutine = good in moderation.

4. Poutine (or as the Quebecois call it "Ordures Chaudes" which roughly translates to "Hot Garbage") - I don't why I love poutine so much. Is it because it was invented by French Canadians? Is it because of the abnormal amount of sodium packed into one serving of the dish? Or is it the simplicity of poutine that I find so appealing? For whatever the reason, I love the stuff and have spent many a pleasant afternoon with a steaming Styrofoam container of 'tiner in front of me and a cold can of coke in hand. What a great treat.

5. The Internet - What an amazing network of information! The power that the internet gives people to exchange knowledge, ideas and information is staggering, and we are yet to come even close to realizing it's potential. Think of what the future holds!

5 Things that are bad:

1. The Toronto Transit Comission (TTC)- What the hell is going on with these people? Is it 1962? Commuting to work each day on this dated transit system is always an adventure, and I'm constantly amazed when I arrive at my destination alive and on time. It's like going back in time stepping into a TTC station. A time when credit cards and Interac didn't exist. I mean who uses those crazy things anyway? And what's this whole automation thing? Wouldn't it be more efficient to pay a unionized employee 30 dollars an hour to sit in a little booth and be an asshole to customers? It's not like his job security is based on how good of a job he does. That would make too much sense. What a joke.

2. Suburbs - The poor city planning of the past half-century has basically ruined everything and there's very little we can do about it. It is my professional opinion that the following places need to be bulldozed immediately so that we can "give it another shot":
(In no particular order)
Ajax, Brampton, Pickering, Whitby, Scarborough, Mississauga, Milton, Vaughan, Markham, and Newmarket. We can do better people!

3. Cigarettes - Man, cigarettes are pure evil even though I enjoy them so much. I think smoking is basically one the most reckless things you can do to yourself. I mean seriously, inhaling smoke into your lungs so that the the myriad of toxins in cigarette smoke can be absorbed by the supersensitive tissue in your alveoli is fucking revolting and makes me very ashamed of myself. Ugh.

4. Loud music on your earphones - I think in about 40 years a trend of hearing loss will emerge that will finally wake people up. You see these people put their ipod earphones on in public places and crank their music to drown out the noise around them. This is bad. These people are going to go deaf. If you really want to listen to music on the subway then you should get a pair of those industrial ear protectors and wear them over your earbuds. That way you can listen to Fall Out Boy at a reasonable level without causing irreparable damage to your eardrums.
You'll thank me when you're an old fart asking your granddaughter what she got for Christmas and you're able to hear her response: A Hoverbike.

5. Reality TV - Why is this still around? I thought the Survivor craze was done with. I can't believe people watch this garbage, living vicariously through these rich assholes in California. Live your life for chrissake! Join a book club or something.

The Flying Fox

2007-11-22T21:17:00.000-05:00

It seems unreasonable that these things can actually fly, but it's right there in the name. They feed on nectar, pollen, and fruit. I actually saw these things in Queensland, Australia, and, I must say, they were freaky as hell. At dusk they wake up and swarm around the trees in the hundreds thinking about what they're going to have for dinner. If you're lucky, they will choose mangoes over your blood.

Strange Pet of the Week: The Sugar Glider

2007-11-15T21:38:00.000-05:00

This critter hails from Australia and is a member of the Gliding Possum family. Sugar Gliders are very social animals and in the wild they can live together in groups of up to 30.

If you choose to get a sugar glider of your own, make sure it gets lots of attention and care. In the first few months out of the pouch it needs constant affection. The sugar glider can become very depressed if it gets neglected, and it is one of the only animals that can die of loneliness. Also, if you feed them after midnight they will become evil.

The Breakfast Sandwich

2007-11-12T21:34:00.000-05:00

My love affair with breakfast sandwiches began in first year university, when we decided to spice up our Sunday brunches at Ban Righ cafeteria by taking all the elements of a breakfast and putting them into one convenient sandwich. The tradition started innocently enough, but by the end of the year making a sandwich became a mandatory staple of the breakfast ritual, and any aberration was frowned upon . If one of the group decided that they preferred a conventional breakfast and didn't particularly want a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich to start their day, they would be berated relentlessly, or "chirped" as it was often referred to, until they were peer pressured into submission. It was a strange time.

The breakfast sandwich is a glorious culinary concoction: Eggs, bacon (or sausage, depending on preference) and a slice of processed cheese sandwiched between a bread product of your choice. Many enjoy their sandwich on an English muffin, while others enjoy a toasted bagel to hold the thing together. Tim Horton's, in recent years, introduced a breakfast sandwich that is made with a tea biscuit. Many enjoy this buttery treat, but I have to say it's a tad rich for my blood. I opt for the toasted bagel when I go to Tim Horton's for my breakfast sammy, which is quite often.

This summer, it was the Tim Horton's breakfast sandwich that got me out of bed on lazy Saturdays. It would be around 11:30 and I would be enjoying my sleep-in after a long week of busting my hump designing parking lots. I would always want to sleep-in later, but it would be the knowledge that Tim Horton's stopped serving their breakfast sandwich at noon that would get me out of bed. I would shuffle down Spadina rd. to the Tim Hortons on the corner, get a breakfast sandwich (sesame seed bagel with sausage) and a medium regular and, just like that, I was ready to start my day. It was because of the mid-day breakfast sandwich last call at Timmy's that I could get a full day of leisure in on Saturday. That all changed in September when I moved to a new place, where I discovered Timothy's World Coffee (or Timmy Wo' Co's as it called by the locals).

Timothy's, which obviously is not the most original coffee franchise, started serving breakfast sammies around the same time Tim Horton's introduced their popular sandwich. However, Timothy's, unlike Tim Horton's, recognized that some people don't get out of bed well after 12pm on the weekend. It was because of this that they introduced the ALL DAY breakfast sandwich. By doing so, us late risers can now start our day just as enjoyably as the early birds. I don't get as much done on Saturday anymore (in fact, getting a breakfast sandwich is sometimes the ONLY thing I do on Saturday) but that's just fine. Just this weekend I decided to return to Timothy's for a second breakfast sandwich because I had enjoyed the first one so much. This, needless to say, was not the smartest idea and I paid dearly for my mistake later on that evening, but I learned my lesson. One breakfast sammie per morning should suffice. However, if you're really starving and you feel that your first sandwich was just not enough, consider splitting a second sandwich with one of your friends. Your stomach will thank you.

Ridiculous Animal of the Week: The Aye-aye

2007-11-11T20:54:00.000-05:00

Introducing the Aye-aye. This freak of nature lives in Madagascar and fills the same ecological niche as the woodpecker. It uses its alien-like fingers to pull insects out of trees. So there you go.

Ligers and Tigons

2007-11-06T18:21:00.000-05:00

Oh hello. So I went to the ROM with my surrogate family this weekend and was surprised to find out that Ligers actually do exist. Ligers, for those of you out there unfamiliar with the term, are a cross between a lion and a tiger. I was first introduced to the strange beast when I saw the movie Napoleon Dynamite. He cited that the liger was his favourite animal and I obviously thought that it was made up. But, as I learned on saturday, the liger does exist, and it is a truly preposterous creature. Obviously, lions were never meant to mate with tigers, but I guess some zookeeper got bored one day and he unleashed a lion on an unsuspecting tigresse and lo and behold the liger came to be. Due to the genetic mismatch of the two species, ligers grow to an enormous size, making them the largest felines that exist. Tigons actually exist as well, and they occur when a tiger and a lionesse mate. However, they don't grow to be nearly as humongous, therefore they are not nearly as hilarious. To learn more about ligers and liger-related trivia, visit your local library and google 'liger.'

Advertising and You

2007-08-13T22:24:00.000-05:00

It took me a while to realize, but I am now quite sure that advertising actually works, and, as it turns out, is quite effective in convincing people that they need useless items like designer ipod cases.

Have you ever found yourself acting upon an advertisement knowingly and not stopping yourself? And then thinking, "Why did I buy this product instead of the No-Name version?" Do I feel safer buying the brand name product or something? Do I think people will think I'm cooler because I have the name brand thing? I'm not sure. Maybe they teach you somewhere, probably the internet.

This weekend I saw an advertisement on a pack of smokes I had retardedly procured that read "If you smoke you will die a terrible death" with a picture of this guy with cancer lying in a hospital bed. It was then that and I decided I wasn't going to smoke anymore. So I guess ads aren't all that bad. And sometimes ads tell you about things that you didn't know about before, like cool concerts that are going on or about the new Licks restaurant opening up in your neighborhood.

So I guess ads are okay if they don't make you do something stupid like buy a computer because it comes in an interesting colour (We all remember the iMac).

Anyway, the moral of the story: Obey all ads.

9-5ers Anthem

2007-07-29T22:03:00.000-05:00

Hello to everyone out there in Blogland, sorry I haven't posted for a while but I've been doing this whole "real life" thing and I'm obviously not allotting enough time in my day to blog. But that's all going to change. . . I bought a new computer with money that doesn't exist, so from now on the hours of 6 pm to 11 pm everday will be T-bone's Blog Time. That does mean, however, that I'll be spending 16 hours a day in front of computer screen, but I'm sure that's perfectly healthy. Anyways, since I know how much all of you (or should I say both of you) enjoyed my piece that chronicled a day in a life of leisure, I thought it would be a good contrast to write about a day in the life of a working slob.

7:00 am I wake up to an easy listening radio station for some reason. I don't like easy listening and do not listen to it. I usually turn the radio off once I've heard the news and weather. The reason for this was because I used to wake up to the generic rock radio station with "Gunner and the Duke in the Morning" or something terrible like that and I couldn't take it anymore. I woke up two mornings in a row to that fucking Finger Eleven song that sounds like shitty rip-off of Franz Ferdinands 'Take Me Out" and after that I lost it and changed the station, never to return. Easy Listening it is.

7:30 am I turn on the CTV Morning News and get all the information I could possible need to start my day. Usual news topics include the latest tractor-trailer crash on the 401 (basically every two days a tractor-trailer rolls over on the 401 during the morning rush hour closing off an entire direction of traffic) Other topics include: How to avoid identity theft, the new Harry Potter book or movie, and Lindsay Lohans latest drug fueled escapade. So basically really important stuff. I guess this is what I get for being too cheap to pay for cable.

8:00 am Get on the subway and thank the good lord that I'm not stuck in traffic on the 401. Pick up a copy of the Metro and read about all the inane news that I just heard about on the CTV morning show. Fuck.

8:30 am Stroll into the office and get to work. Make small talk with co-workers. Topics of conversation include: Latest tractor-trailer accident on the 401 or how amazing (or terrible, depending on who you're talking to) the new Transformers movie is.

12 pm Lunch is always a treat, even if you're not in the kitchen at 491 Broadview ave. Sure, you can't watch Conan O'brian on PVR while you eat, but it's still good.

5pm - 6 pm Debate in your mind if you should leave or keep working. One of the hardest parts of the day. On one hand, you can work late and everyone at the office thinks you're a hard worker ; you get respect and maybe get a raise one day. On the other hand, you leave early and get to go home and blog for five hours. . .very difficult decision indeed.

6pm - midnight. Get right back into leisure like its May 2007. Activities include: ultimate frisbee, playing guitar or drinking beers and going to concerts. All good things. Things that I have realized that one can enjoy while still holding down a job during the day. Imagine that. . .working during the day so you can relax and do things that you enjoy during the evening. . .What a novel concept. I wonder who thought of that? Oh yeah, every other human in history.

Anyway, thats my day. Obviously for a weekend day there's more sleeping and boozing and such, but I think you get the gist of it. Oh yeah and sometimes I make pasta.

Tarana

2007-07-06T22:48:00.001-05:00

Here are ten things that I learned my first week here in Toronto, or as it is colloquially known, the Big Smoke.

1. Do not drive through residential streets at midnight on a Monday night if your exhaust pipe has fallen apart and it is dragging on the asphalt. Apparently, people in Toronto find this obnoxious.

2. If you are on the subway, it is mandatory to appear disinterested in life. Expressions of happiness are strictly forbidden.

3. If you live in the Annex, there is a good chance you are:
- a rich U of T student
- an old hippy who feeds your newborn organic pablum
- a crazy who feels you can best serve society by shouting obscenities at passersby
- a lame yuppie desperately trying to remain hip

4. The work world is not hard

5. The real money is in day-trading.

6. The metropass is a good investment.

7. The Bed-in-a-Bag (a portable inflatable bed), although a good idea in principle, is not the most comfortable long term sleeping option.

8. People in big cities dont give a shit.

9. Always carry your apartment keys everywhere you go (all 6 of them). Being locked out is not fun.

10. Driving cars is for suckers.

Capital Idea Festival Day 3: The Walkmen @ Bronson Centre

2007-06-23T10:55:00.000-05:00

When we walked into the Bronson Centre I think it's safe to say we were all thinking the same thing:"Where the fuck are we?" The Bronson Centre, a.k.a the former Immaculata High School, was literally a high school auditorium. It was a really strange place to be seeing a rock and roll show (especially one that cost $30). Everyone was sitting in their seats listening to the opening bands, and it had the feel of third period assembly, except there were less people. I was waiting for the vice-principal to stand up and tell everyone to quiet down. We all sat in our seats trying to understand how something like this had happened, and vowing that when the Walkmen came on we were going to stand up and go to the front of the stage. Before they came on the stage, we started cheering for them, and everyone in the auditorium was really thrown off. It was like, because we were in an auditorium, people couldn't act like they normally would at a rock concert. Very, very strange atmosphere. Despite this and a shitty sound guy, the Walkmen managed to put on a good show. They played a bit more new stuff than I would have liked, but the old stuff they played was spot on. When they broke in to The Rat everyone lost it. All across the front row people were banging their fists on the stage in rhythm. I was screaming/singing along, loving every minute. Too bad the vocal mic was only going through the PA system (which we were behind) so the vocals we heard were the echoes of the auditorium behind us. . .fucking Bronson centre. But I'm not bitter, they played a good set and everyone had a good time. We were rocking out so hard we even got invited to the after party of the opening band Relief Maps, where, we were told, The Walkmen might show up. So we decided to go drink some beers before heading to the after-party. When we did eventually make it there, the 'party' had dispersed. The guitarist of Relief Maps was making out with his girlfriend on the front porch and it appeared we had missed the boat. I was somewhat miffed, so one of my friends asked me: "What did you expect, a huge 8 Aberdeen-style bash with people dancing on tables and a raging bonfire in the backyard?" And to be honest, that is what I was expecting. . .I guess when you live on Aberdeen St. for four years your expectations of what a typical after-party should consist of are tragically skewed.

Moral of the story: Walkmen = sick. Bronson Centre = a joke. Also, if you're ever invited to an after-party, don't show up two hours later and expect it to still be rocking.

Capital Idea Festival Day 2: Sunset Rubdown @ Babylon

2007-06-22T11:11:00.001-05:00

As I mentioned yesterday, Sunset Rubdown is the new band of Spencer Krug, who we all know from Montreal's Wolf Parade. Spencer Krug shares lead vocals with Dan Boeckner in Wolf Parade, however this year both guys have branched off and done their own thing with their own bands. Boeckner's band is called Handsome Furs in case you want to check them out.

I don't know about you guys, but I never really liked the two lead singer concept of Wolf Parade. I always preferred the songs that Boeckner wrote and discarded the Krug tracks. At one point I burned a CD of Apologies to the Queen Mary with all the Krug tracks deleted and renamed the seven song album Apologies to Spencer Krug. I really wasn't a fan of the guys extravagant vocals and elaborate keyboard parts.

But last night changed all that.

Krug, now with own band Sunset Rubdown, showcased his musical stylings amazingly and made me realize that I never gave him a chance when he was with Wolf Parade. With only four people in the band (no bass player?) Sunset Rubdown filled up the club with a wall a sound, which was complemented by Krug's distinctive wail. Despite the urgent and clamouring nature of the music, the band was incredibly tight. At one point, Krug, the guitarist, and the second keyboardist were doing a three part harmonized solo that looked as impressive as it sounded. I knew the show was a success when I inadvertantly started fist-pumping to the ever-infectious beat. That's always the way you can tell you're seeing a good show.

As well as enjoying a great set, I also learned about some cool new indie trends that the members of the bands nicely showcased.

1. Slipons - Now I know slip-ons have sort of been considered cool for a while, but I was finally convinced last night. Chuck taylor's are one thing, but slip-ons exude an air of 'casualness' that is hard to duplicate. The last time I had a pair of slip-ons was grade 1, I think the time has come to get a new pair.

2. Vibrators as musical instruments - For the last song of the set, the female keyboardist took out a vibrator and began playing her xylophone with it. If that's not indie, I don't know what the hell is.

3. Starter brand shoes - Remember Starter hats back in Grade 4? Well, apparently they made shoes as well, and the lead guitarist for Sunset Rubdown had a pair. The question is, do you think he bought them on Ebay, or were they his older brother's and he found them in a box in his parents basement?. . . I wonder. . .

4. Not doing encores - Now in this case, Sunset Rubdown didn't do an encore because of time-constraints, but I feel sometimes not doing encores is almost cooler than doing them. It would have been even cooler if the show was cheaper that $20 too, but I guess that's asking too much.

And that's the review. Good times had by all. Indie week in the Capital continues tonight with The Walkmen at the Bronson Centre. The Walkmen are one of my favourite bands and I'm quite pumped to finally see them live. Seeing as the show is in Ottawa, I have no doubt in my mind that I will be able to get myself a front row spot with no trouble at all.

Capital Idea Festival: The Besnard Lakes @ Zaphod's

2007-06-21T09:53:00.000-05:00

The Capital Idea indie music festival kicked off last night with a strong show from the Besnard Lakes. The Besnard Lakes are a 6 piece slow-core group from Montreal and they did not disappoint. (I'm actually not sure if they could be defined as 'slow-core,' I just always wanted to use that word so I could sound like a pretentious indie-snob douchebag)

Anyway, they put on a good show, despite the inherent lameness of the lead singer. I've never been a fan of awkward crowd banter (who is?) and I was not amused by her various quips. Sometimes I feel like talking to the crowd takes away from the rockers mystique. But that's just me. Diego feels that an indie rocker should let their music speak for them, and I would have to agree. Look at the two coolest dudes in music right now: Julian Casablancas and Paul Banks. They don't tell drawn out anecdotes about getting drunk on absinthe at a video shoot; they just step up to the mike and throw down You Only Live Once and PDA (respectively) and everyone is happy.

I'm being too hard on Besnard Lakes, because, despite unnecessary crowd banter, they did put on a good show. Their three-part harmonies were air-tight and they created great atmosphere with each song. I was also very impressed with their drummer, who, as well being a great drummer, sang a mean Fleetwood Mac cover for their last song.

Capital Idea fest continues tonight with Sunset Rubdown, which is the band of Spencer Krug (one of the lead singers of Wolf Parade). I have big expectations thanks to the accolades of Stereogum and my hipster friend Diego.

Blackout

2007-06-18T12:28:00.000-05:00

Well, I did it again. I got blackout drunk on Friday.

I didn't really see it coming. It all started so innocently. Me and my friends were watching the baseball game on my back porch casually drinking beers. A few hours later we were getting pretty toasty and our conversation was getting much louder. My sister told me we should probably move the "party" inside, as our neighbours have small children who are probably trying to fall asleep. So we decide to play Foosball in the basement and listen to NOFX's The Decline, which we all know is a sure-fire way to accelerate one's alcohol intake.

So now its around 11:30 and we are all sufficiently "dumbed-down." We decide to go to the bar. We don't really know why we're going to the bar, probably just so we can say we "did something"on Friday night, rather than having to admit that we spent the night sitting around my house drinking ourselves into oblivion.

So we take the bus down to the bar despite Corky's protests. (you see he believes that he's too good to take the bus. He once said, "I'm not taking the bus, it's for the peons" I wish I was joking but he actually said that) So anyway we take the bus and get in some stupid conversations with some idiots that we all instantly forgot. Sweet.

In good time, we make it to the bar. We stand in the VIP line because we're good friends with one of the bartenders which instantly makes us very important. We get in without much hassle and buy some booze. And the night disintegrates from there into a drunken mess.

Later that night, I shook hands with a homeless guy for some reason and promptly rub my hand into Corky's face, to his disgust. I order poutine from the York St. poutine shack and load on the sauerkraut because that's what's done now. Me, Cork, and Diego share a cab back to Westboro, where we probably had an in-depth and insightful conversation about third-world debt and the responsibilities of the G8 to alleviate global poverty. Or maybe we just talked how good Peter Bjorn and John is. I can't quite recall.

I wake up the next morning minus $60 and my memory. I'm still drunk and my burps taste like sauerkraut and gravy. I put 2 and 2 together and go get a big glass of water.

Thanks for the Memories

2007-06-07T09:41:00.000-05:00

Well, it's over, the Sens lost the Stanley Cup final after coming into the series ever so confident. I can't say that I'm shocked that we lost last night's game and consequently the series. You knew something was up after we got manhandled in the first two games of the series. We managed to squeeze out a win in Game 3 even though the team (Emery especially) really didn't play all that well. Game 4 was even worse. The Sens played their best period of the series in the first, scored a late goal to gain all the momentum going into the second, only to fizzle out in the remainder of the game. So that's why I say I wasn't shocked at last nights outcome. If we had fought hard all series and then lost in game seven by one goal scored late in the third (see New Jersey vs. Ottawa Eastern Conference Final 2003) then I would be shocked. I would be so devastated that I would probably have to go lie down.

But last night was not shocking. It was simply the end of a series that was never going the Sens' way. So now we have to go through the excruciating motions of deciding "what went wrong" "who was to blame" and "What we need to change" but I'm not going to get into that because it makes me sick to think about it. Instead, I'm going to tell myself that the 9-day break between the Conference final and the Cup final was what did it, and maybe if that excuse falters I'll remember that the Ducks had more experience in the finals and a few more Canadians. Yeah, that'll do.

We could always just blame the drug habits of several key players on the Senators for the collapse. You see over the years, many of the top Sens have taken a liking to "riding the white dragon"as the kids say, and, as you can imagine, it has never helped their on-ice performance. I'm no weatherman or anything, but I'm sure there was a snowstorm in Anaheim last night in the Sens hotel. . .

But enough "jokes". Let's get serious.

I know alot of people say that making it to the Finals is nothing unless you win it all, but I think that's a load of hooey. Making it to the Cup finals was always the one thing we couldn't achieve in years past, but this year we did it. And it was almost a feeling of relief in Ottawa when we did. (recall two Saturdays ago?) With their huge break between series and the Canadian media tooting the Sens horn all week, maybe the Sens got a bit too over-confident going into the Finals. We forgot what needed to be done to win.

But we did have an amazing run. The past three months have been the most exciting time this city has ever seen . I've said it once and I'll say it again: There is nothing that unites a city like a championship team. Everyone has something to talk about with one another, everyone has something to cheer about and hope for. Whether you're a jock or a goth, a business man or a hobo, an indie kid or a construction worker, we all had something to cheer about these last few months. We all had something that brought us together. . .And I think was what the best thing about the Cup run.

That and being able to casually drink 10 beers each and every game night and not be called a lush. That was also good.

But anyway, thats my two cents. Thanks for the memories, Sens. You gave this sleepy town something to cheer about. . .And though you may not have earned a place on the Stanley Cup, you've definately earned a place in all of our hearts.

Understanding Indie/Pointless Drivel

2007-06-05T10:17:00.000-05:00

The term Indie is being thrown around so much these days that the word has virtually lost all meaning. What does Indie even mean? Growing up in the nineties I always understood indie to mean "independent", meaning that the band or artist in question was not signed to a major record label. Indie bands were usually more underground and not part of mainstream culture.

I always like to describe Pavement as a quintessential indie band: Lo-fi guitar rock with an underground cult following. They gained their moderate commercial success without the support of a major label, and paved the way (pun intended) for many other independent bands.

The Internet changed everything. Suddenly bands could reach a much larger audience through the miracle of modern technology. When Napster hit the web at the turn of the millennium people were able to access music that they never would have heard otherwise. And now with pitchfork and soulseek and bit torrents everyone gets to hear everything.

So here's my question: If everyone likes indie music can it still be called indie? Or does it just become 'music'? Or if you say to someone "I like indie music" what does that mean? Do you mean you like music that they write about on Pitchfork? Or does it mean that you only like bands that aren't signed to major labels? What if a band was on an indie label and then they get signed to a major label? Do you still like them? What if a band was underground and then they become mainstream? Do you not like them because other people like them? And if so, why not?

I don't know why I'm asking all these questions about indie. Last night in a drunken stupor me and my pal Diego were talking about indie music (which we often do) and I thought I had this amazing idea for a blog entry. "Diego, should I do it? Should I write about indie? I think this could be my greatest blog entry ever." He looked at me and said, "Whitey, you do what you gotta do."

This morning I was crafting the blog entry in my head and thinking about how awesome it was going to be. I was even going to write an outline. An outline for god's sakes! But then, true to form, I gave up on that and wrote the entry off the top of my head. And this is what you get. Literary diarrhea. Pointless drivel written only to distract the writer and reader from things that actually matter, such as climate change and Senators hockey.

Disc Golf

2007-06-04T09:42:00.001-05:00

Well, summer is here, and you know what that means: the anxiously awaited Disc Golf season has finally begun. Disc Golf, also known as Frisbee Golf or 'Frolf' to the layperson, is exactly what it sounds like: Golf with frisbees. The great thing about Disc Golf is that it can be taken as seriously or as casually as you like it.

Last summer, living in the student ghetto in Kingston, ON, we made a sweet disc golf course out of the blue lights that were scattered throughout the Queen's campus. The blue lights were installed as a safety measure in case a student felt threatened on campus; each lightpost had an intercom that connected to campus security. The ubiquity and distinctiveness of the lights on campus made them ideal holes for an afternoon game of Frolf.

Here in Ottawa, where people take frisbee-related sports very seriously, there are actual Disc Golf courses, where the 'holes' are in fact contraptions called 'Disc-catchers' or 'Pole-Holes' A Disc-catcher is comprised of a metal pole with a circular frame around the top and a circular bin at the bottom. The top frame has a number of chains hanging down from it, so that when a frisbee flies through, it is stopped mid-flight, and falls down into the bottom bin. They work quite well, especially if you are using frisbees that are specifically designed for disc golf. Much like a golfer has different clubs for different shots, a disc golfer has a variety of discs for different distances. You can purchase different discs for driving, mid-range, and putting. Of course, you have to be pretty serious about disc golf to spend the money on a full set. Using a regular frisbee is entirely acceptable for the casual disc golfer.

So next time you find yourself bored and broke on a sunday afternoon, gather up some friends and some frisbees and play a leisurely game of disc golf in your neighboorhood. You won't regret it. Just remember never to call it Frisbee Golf or Frolf in front of a serious Disc Golfer. This upsets them to no end.

AM Radio: The Definition of a Joke

2007-05-31T09:54:00.000-05:00

What's the deal with AM radio? Why does it still exist? The quality is terrible and it's not even in stereo. Why is this tolerated? Now I understand that it costs more to transmit an FM signal rather than an AM signal, but dare I assume, if an AM station changed to FM, that the increase in revenue from advertisements would offset the increase in operating costs? It pains me to listen to AM radio when I know that FM exists. It's like watching a television station that chooses to be broadcast in black and white. I mean, come on people, this is the 21st century! Let's dare to dream here. It's not the 1930's where the whole family is sitting around the old HiFi on Saturday night listening to The Shadow. We live in the age of "High Definition", "On-demand", and "Podcasts". So I think it's time we do what we know has needed to be done for a very long time: we take AM radio out back with grandpa's 12 gauge and put it out of its misery.

Movie Review: 28 Weeks Later

2007-05-29T23:17:00.000-05:00

Well I just got back from seeing 28 Weeks Later, and I must say, I'm not too impressed. Though it had some good zombie violence (zombies getting shot up, zombies getting burned alive, zombies getting sliced apart by helicopter blades, etc.) I found the story pretty contrived. It was one of those movies where after you see it you're questioning all the decisions that the main characters made throughout the movie. eg. "Aww man, they never should have left that bunker. . . " or "that guy would never have been given security clearance in real-life" and the like. Obviously its a sci-fi movie but the human elements of the movie still need to be realistic. Also, while the first movie (28 Days Later) relied on awesome story, believable character development, and amazing cinematography for its success, this movie relied heavily on the dramatic theme music from the first movie to build suspense, which was a pretty big cop-out. And of course, they ended the movie on a cliffhanger so that they can milk another sequel out of the "28 [insert measurement of time] Later" franchise, which, in this reviewers opinion, should never have become a franchise to start with. It was an awesome movie on its own, these sequels are not helping its reputation.

Work vs. Leisure

2007-05-28T11:49:00.000-05:00

Hello to everyone out there in the blogosphere. I'm sorry I haven't made a new post in some time, I've been somewhat busy as of late. And I know that a 'busy day' to me is what most of you would call 'a day', but it was relatively busy for me so I didn't have time to do important things like update my blog. And for that I apologize. I had to go to Toronto for two things: 1. get a job 2. play rock music. Two very different things but also two very important things.

I've tried my best not to get a job for the longest time, but there comes a point in every man's life (some much later than others) when he feels the need to leave the nest and actually start supporting himself rather than constantly relying on his all-too-accomodating parents. And, let me tell you, my nest is a very comfortable place and hard to leave. The cola flows like water and there's always a fresh bag of Lays regular potato chips waiting for me at 5:00. Banjoes and harmoniums are strewn about the house for impromptu jam sessions. The TV screens are big and the days are short. And of course, poutine fridays make the start of the weekend that much sweeter. Basically, a great place to while away the day, truly enjoying ones leisure time. However, when the feelings of being a bum are disrupting your leisure, then it's not really leisure at all. True leisure is having no worries on your mind; I've experienced it many a time and I'll experience it again, but I had to make some changes so that my leisure time was actually earned, and not simply leisure time because I had nothing else to do.

So somehow I got a job in a desparate attempt to be a "normal human". The whole job search/ interview process is simply terrible. I didn't have a particularly bad experience or anything, but I'm just not used to that type of judgement. Just a panel of people poking and prodding at you trying to find out what type of person you are. I wish they just had a computer system that measured ones personality, attitude, and general demeanour and then compiled it all so that a human could be represented in number form. For example, 80/100 would be a pretty good human. Pretty funny, good handshake, looks you in the eyes when they talk to you, self motivated and whatnot. 50/100 would obviously be a borderline failure as a human. Potential drug and alcohol problems, anxiety and stress issues, problems controlling the level of their voice, etc. It just seems having an interview is a tad archaic. Let the computers do the work. . .that's their job.

So what was the point of this post. . .of course Work vs. Leisure: The Battle rages on. I mean ideally, work is leisure. You're so happy with what you do to make a living that the two are one in the same. But let's be realistic here. One thing that I have realized is that no matter what stage you are in life there is always going to be a certain level of anxiety that you have to deal with. For example, when you don't have a job you're worried about finding one. When you do have a job you're worried about losing your precious leisure time. We, as humans, are never totally satisfied with our current situation. There's always something. Obviously it varies from person to person, some people can deal with this anxiety better than others. Some use alcohol to do it for them. And some people are just happy all the time. But who wants that anyway. I would like to strive towards emotional moderation, in which one feels neither highs nor lows. But then again, that might get a bit boring after a while. Thought du jour: What's better? High and Lows or Steady Mids? You decide.

Quote of the Day

2007-05-18T19:32:00.000-05:00

"Open up your mouth and close your eyes
And I'll stuff your face with verbal shepherd's pies."

-James Nicholson (from his highly anticipated hip-hop debut, "Bite This")

Mundane Thoughts

2007-05-17T23:31:00.000-05:00

Well, I finally got a planner today. I know I don't really do that much but I find it's useful to keep track of the things that you do in a planner. Today I had my first softball game of the season so I wrote that down in the planner. Nothing too elaborate, just the time and place of the softball game. It's a convenient way to keep track of day-to-day activities. Tomorrow I'm going over to my brother's house to hang out and drink a few beers so I wrote that down in the planner. There's no specific time for the get-together, so I just wrote "Hang out with Matt" under May 18th. Writing stuff down helps me organize what I'm doing, and it also makes me feel like I'm somewhat busy when in fact I do quite little. You do what you can.

I've always loved a good 'to do' list. For some reason, as long as I can remember, I've always titled them 'do to' lists. I'm not quite sure why. It's not like I do it on purpose, or that I actively try not to write 'do to'; it's just something that I do. Maybe I do it because I think it's unique or something. Regardless, a good 'to do' list is quite satisfying. Checking off each thing once it is accomplished is the best part. I saved this huge 'to do' list I had in Novemeber of Grade 12. I was really busy that month for a number of reasons and I had this really long 'to do' list. It took the whole month to complete, but when it was finished it was a thing of beauty.

I finished a good book last night. It was called Billy Liar and it was about this guy in a small town in England who is trying to leave his hometown and make it big in London, the "Big City". He gets in all sorts of trouble in the town, but at the end realizes he can't just run away from his problems. It was a really good book, sort of funny and sort of sad, the way many good books are. It sort of made me think of my current situation, except me and the main character are very different because I'm not a compulsive liar. I'm now looking for another good book to read except it's hard because you want the new book to be as good as the last one, and it rarely is. One of my goals in life is to be very well-read. However, I find it's too easy to give up on books once you have started them. I blame modern media for the short attention span of youth today.

Anyway, those are just some of the mundane thoughts I've had today. If you can think of any good books I should read, let me know.

Facebook and the death of social interaction

2007-05-14T09:03:00.000-05:00

We all have become very familiar with the online social network Facebook. We all remember when it first came out and the first people who signed up described it as 'creepy' and 'addictive.' So we all tried to 'hold off' and didn't sign up right away because we thought we were above it. But we all eventually caved, at one time or another, and signed up and got hooked. I remember when I signed up for facebook. . . I got blackout drunk one night last May and when I checked my email the next morning there was a message in my inbox saying "Your facebook confirmation munber is. . ." It was like a drunken hookup that shouldn't have happened and then in the morning realizing what went down. . .But no regrets. . . One way or another we all joined. . .and here we are today: Connected.

We check our emails and are happy to see that someone has written on our wall or tagged a photo of us, or someone has sent us a message or requested us as a friend. But why does it make us so happy? I think it it makes us feel popular. The problem is, it's not your conventional popular, like if all the kids wanted to sit with you at lunch, or you got invited to all the best birthday parties. It's being popular without ever actually having to deal with people. Or being friends with someone without ever having to talk to them. Instead of talking on the phone we write on our friends' walls. Instead of going out for coffee with someone we send them a message. Facebook has made it possible to "be friends" with someone without ever having to actually hang out with them.

I'm not saying facebook is inherently evil or anything. There are alot of things I think are great about facebook. Being able to share pictures, promoting an event, or getting in touch with old friends are all great aspects of the software. It's always funny when you get a friend request from someone you haven't seen in a decade or from someone you're pretty sure you've never met. But, most of the time, you just hit that Confirm button and stack your friend count. You can always use more friends, right? Of course it's always disheartening when you see the number of friends in a certain network get smaller. . ."Hey, yesterday I had 102 friends at Queen's and now I only have a 101!. . . .Oh. . ." Deleting a friend is something I don't think I will ever do. What purpose does that serve? What, you can't stand seeing their little thumbnail picture when you're searching through your friend list? Or is it that you don't want them to be able to see your cool new profile where you listed all your favourite Tv shows and movies? Why? Who the fuck cares?

I'm not bitter about what facebook has done to us. Obviously we are happy to communicate this way. If we really had a problem with it we would do something about it. Some of us already have. Last week I noticed a new group that was called FaceCult, which is essentially a group of people that have had enough of facebook and are organizing a mass "e-suicide" some time in september. Don't get freaked out, 'e-suicide' just means they are going to delete their facebook account. That'll show 'em! I suppose it's a pretty good idea, but it's not like it's going to change anything. People are still going to love sitting at their computers poring over profiles and reading people's walls and looking at pictures like our friends are a bunch of celebrities. And when you really think about it, facebook does make us all celebrities. I mean think of the ever-popular facebook "NewsFeed." I mean, what the fuck is that? Some idiot is now friends with this jerk-off. So-and-so joined the group "I'm a vapid loser and want everyone to know about it" THIS IS NOT NEWS!!! But presented in this way on NewsFeed it becomes news. It's like reading People magazine or something. Nothing what celebrities do really matters but it seems important because we have a connection with these people, and it's the same with Facebook.

Fuck I hate it when people say "It's a small world." Oh wow, you went to some camp for spoiled kids and then went to a university for spoiled teenagers and now you know so-and-so who lives in North Toronto? Wooooooow! That's crazy! What a small world, eh? No, its not a small world, you're just a fucking idiot who doesn't realize what a small population of people you actually interact with. But I digress.

So Facebook is not evil. Humans are. It's not the software's fault that you've conceded to live a trite, meaningless existence culminated by your eventual death (be it facebook death or actual). It's your fault. So for God's sake do something with your life! Read a book! Join a book club! Take your beagle for a walk! Go to night school! Go on a road trip!

Just remember, whatever you do, always take lots of pictures so you can make a facebook album when you get back so everyone can see how much fun you're having and who you hang out with.

Faux-Hawks: A think piece

2007-05-09T15:37:00.000-05:00

Seriously though, what is the deal with faux-hawks? I'm sure you are all familiar with what a faux hawk is. . .when dudes with short-ish hair sort of spike their hair into a little mohawk like David Beckham did 5 years ago. What a fucking joke. What are these people trying to convey with this hairstyle? That they're kind of edgy or anti-establishment? That they've got attitude and refuse to have a conventional hairstyle? Who the fuck knows.

My impression of anyone who rocks a faux-hawk is this: "I'm a twenty-something douche-bag who is too scared to have a REAL mohawk because it's permanent and if my boss says he doesn't like my faux hawk I can just wash my hair. . .so I'm actually not that edgy or anti-establishment. . .I'm just an idiot who thinks mohawks are cool."

I just don't get it. It's so half-assed. At least people with real mohawks have said "yeah man I have a fucking mohawk! There is NO hair on the side of my head. . .I can either have a mohawk or wear a hat! That's it! And even if I wear a hat you can see the flattened mohawk coming out the back." A guy with a faux hawk has decided to "stay on the safe side" and that to me is incredibly lame. Since the rise of punk music in the seventies, the mohawk has come to symbolize rebellion. The faux-hawk, an accepted hairstyle in today's corporate workplace, seems to be a contradiction of all that the mohawk stands for. It's sad, really.

Now, I don't like judging people on how they look or how they dress or what their hair looks like. Obviously I do, but I don't like to admit it. And I really don't like openly critisizing people's looks in a popular blog like this. . .but I just really don't get the faux hawk. So I don't know. . .what do you guys think? Should we just accept any sort of fashion statement as personal expression and leave it at that or can we openly criticize and ridicule those who go out of their way to look different and unique? I don't know. . .I really hate criticizing other people, but I do...and I really hate being a hypocrite too . . .anyway, tell me what you guys think. . .

Sens Army

2007-05-07T16:03:00.000-05:00

Well, it's playoff time in Ottawa and it's a great time to be alive. On Saturday, the Sens won their second-round series against the New Jersey Devils 4 games to 1. Our crew got together at our friend John's house to watch the game and drink a bunch of bargain beer.

That day at work, John had taken it upon himeslf to make an exact replica of the Stanley Cup using tinfoil, cardboard, scotch tape, an empty ice cream container, and a whole lot of love. Needless to say, the finished product was a thing of beauty; topped off with a Sens logo taped prominently on the front of the trophy.

After the Sens won the game 3-2 we decided it would be a good idea to take the cup downtown to celebrate the victory. It was a great excuse to yell and cheer at the top of your lungs without being arrested for disturbing the peace. Alot of cars were honking as they passed, and groups of people would join in on the 'Go Sens Go' chants. Of course, there were the occasional "oh did they win tonight?" comments, but I think most people were pleased with our alcohol fueled antics.

Once we got to the bar, we were now giving people the option to "kiss the cup," which actually was pretty gross considering the amount of times it had been dropped on the sidewalk on the way to the bar. Some people went for it, usually guys that were already as drunk as we were. There were a few sensible people who politely declined the offer. One girl, after being offered the chance to "kiss the cup," promptly replied "I might as well kiss a toilet seat." Good for her.

All in all, I think our mission down Elgin St. was important to bolster support for our Sens in the third round, where we will be taking on the Buffalo Sabres. If you can believe it, the replica Cup actually made it home safe and sound. We were all convinced that it would be left in tatters after our drunken promenade. That means it will be ready to go for the start of round three this week. However, it should probably be given a quick rinse if you want to take a drink from it. Allons-y les Senateurs. . .

Moustache of the Week

2007-05-02T15:01:00.000-05:00

Video of the Week

2007-05-02T14:51:00.000-05:00

sweet song + awesome moustache + artsy choreography
= good entertainment

A Life of Leisure

2007-04-26T17:46:00.000-05:00

Hello friends,
I haven't really been doing anything lately so I don't have anything funny to blog about. So I thought I'd give you guys a rundown on how I pass my time on an average weekday, because that's pretty funny in itself. . .and sad. OK here goes:

8:00 Wake up, fully rested. Seeing as I usually have little to nothing to do, I fall back asleep for a couple of hours.

10:30 Wake up again. This time I feel guilty for sleeping so late, so I hop out of bed and head downstairs to the kitchen, or as I call it, The office.

10:45 Make a cup of coffee and turn on CBC Newsworld while reading the paper and checking my email/facebook. This is my most productive time of the day. Information being bombarded at me from every direction while sweet caffeine flows through my body, preparing me for another action packed day. This is the time of day when I research prospective employers, send out resumes, prepare for interviews, and generally get shit done. Unfortunately, this part of the day only lasts until lunch. This is probably one of the reasons I'm still unemployed.

12:30 Ahh lunch, my favourite meal of the day. I'm a traditionalist, so I like the classic soup and sandwich lunch. The soup is usually Lipton Chicken Noodle and the sandwich is usually bologna or ham on a kaiser bun with some olives and mustard. If there happens to be cheese around, which, luckily for me, there is, I'll cut a few slices and throw that into the mix. Top it all off with a big class of chocolate milk or ice tea. Oh man, there's nothing like a good lunch to get you ready for the afternoon.

1:30 Now the afternoon tends to vary from day to day. I try to get some exercise every day, but it usually doesn't end up that way. I would say that about half the time I actually go out for a run or at least use my dad's elliptical trainer for a while. This is done so I can sweat out all the toxins that I invariably consume throughout the week. Today, I decided to get really ambitious and record some music, which is both fun and time-consuming, making it a perfect afternoon activity. Sometimes I'm called upon my Dad to do gopher work for his company. The other week I had to deliver an important package to the Iranian embassy for some sort of authentication (I don't ask questions) which was quite interesting. The guy at the embassy actually asked me if I was Iranian, which may have been a joke, but I'm not too sure.

4:00 Tea time. I take this time to eat an apple and drink some tea so I can feel healthy. I usually take this time to check my email and facebook for the three hundredth time that day. "Oh look! so-and-so is attending some party in a city that I don't live in. . .Cool" "Wow, whats-her-name was tagged in album entitled "Drunk Assholes". . .Neat!"

5:00 As healthy as I'm making myself out to be, I have to admit that alot of the time my apple and tea snack is replaced by cola and potato chips, and this is usually at 5:00 to coincide with the Simpsons on CBC. It's an age old tradition I have: 5:00 pm = potato chips + cola + simpsons on CBC. I no longer try to fight it. . it's who I am.

6:00 Downtime. This part of the day is the downtime before dinner. I usually take this time to do things like blog. Or, if there's a Sens game on, I go to the beer store with my group of cronies and buy a 6-pack of Old Milwaukee tall cans. $10.5o for 3 litres of quality lager. You can't beat that.

7:00 - 12:00 If there's a game on, we usually get together and watch it and drink ourselves into a nice little stupor. If not, then prime time television never ceases to entertain. Family Guy on Sunday, 24 on Monday, House on Tuesday, Lost on Wednesday, The Office on Thursday. Friday: go out on the town and get loser drunk. Saturday: watch hockey and then do the same as Friday. It's really quite simple. There's not much to it. I don't know why everyone complains about how hard life is. All you have to do is resign to living a mundane existence based on a strict schedule (pronounced shhhhedule). Forget your ambitions! Move back in with your parents! Start a blog! Get complacent! I did. . .and now I have a mustache. . .so there you go.

Alcohol: Friend or Foe?

2007-04-21T11:32:00.000-05:00

Well, we've talked briefly about addiction on this blog (see Poutine = Crack) but I thought I'd muse about everyone's favourite mind-altering drug, alcohol, and maybe come to some general, off-the-cuff conclusions that aren't really well thought out. You, as a reader, can then post comments which point out the flaws of my argument. So here we go:

Are we all just a bunch of alcoholics? I mean, seriously, people drink alot. Think about when you and your friends are talking about all the crazy times you've had together over the years. Is it fair to say that the majority of these "crazy times" have been when everyone's been so boozed up that they invariably do something stupid and/or crazy? Nobody talks about that time when everyone sat in the living room and watched Lost for 11 hours. Because that's sad. Instead, we talk about that time that so-and-so threw up in her purse, or when whats-his-name went home with you-know who or the time dude-face funneled, like, 8-teen beers. I mean it's sad to come to this realization but it really raises the question: Is fun alcohol-fueled?

Now I know what some of you are saying: Listen "t-bone," if that is your real name, YOU may need alcohol to have fun, you lush, but I have fun doing wholesome stuff like playing sports and board games and going to the cinema. And if that's the case, good for you. I do have deep appreciation for good wholesome fun, but I think I have deeper appreciation for getting drunk and trying to take over the world. And I guess that's kind of fucked up. But that's just who I am.

So, why do people love booze so much? Chemically, alcohol is a CNS depressant (thank you PHARM 100) which means that it literally SLOWS down your nervous system so that your brain can't think as fast that it normally does (I'm sure Alanna could give you a more detailed account of what's really going on in the brain, but for all intents and purposes I'm not going to get into it). Basically, drunk people are primal versions of themselves, and display various traits of animal behaviour once inebriated.

A few examples of this:

Bar fights (displays of dominance)
hooking up with unattractive people (the immediate need for procreation)

and, of course

eating poutine and other fast food (fattening up for hibernation)

Maybe people drink because they're sick of their mind buzzing all the time, with all those pesky 'thoughts'. Booze dumbs you down a bit, and I think sometimes that's exactly what people want. I mean couldn't you describe worrying as "over-thinking"? I've made up a little equation using concepts I learned studying applied science.

Too many thoughts = Worry [1]
Too many thoughts + Booze = Happy [2]
Less thoughts = Happy [3]

You can't argue with that, that's just science.

Anyway, thats the post. I'm sorry I didn't really prove anything, thats for the scientists to do. I just think the relationship that humans have with alcohol is interesting, funny, meaningful, and tragic all at the same time and deserves some closer attention. I'll leave you with this quote that was sent in to me by my friend B. Cork. Actually that's too obvious, let's just call him Brian C.

"When you're drunk, you don't say things you don't mean, you say things you mean but shouldn't say."

Interpol

2007-04-17T17:39:00.000-05:00

A month of great live music in Ottawa reached its zenith on Sunday with an unreal Interpol concert at the New Capital Music Hall.

I could hardly believe what I was reading when I found out in early March that Interpol was starting their tour in the nation's capital, and wasted no time getting my paws on some tickets for me and my entourage. The idea that we would be hearing the new songs before anyone else made me feel indie as hell and, seeing as I don't have a job or any sort of future prospects, it's given me a reason to get up in the morning. Sure enough, after a month of anticipation, Interpol did not dissapoint.

They opened the show with one of their new songs: 'Pioneer' (see Video of the Week), and it was everything we could expect from a new Intepol track: Dark, melodic, and hauntingly catchy. I was particularly happy that they played a new song to open the show because I had bet my blogmate Bernty a beer that they would do just that.

The band was dressed in classic Interpol style: tailored black shirts and ties with an air about them that seemed to exude all that we have ever held to be "cool." Carlos D. chose a western motif: a Texas string tie and vest, topped off with moustache that wouldn't have looked out of place in the Black Hills of Dakota. Did I mention the drummer was dressed in the style of a prison inmate from the 50's? Because he was. All in all, the band looked great and sounded better, playing a smattering of new stuff as well as fan favourites from their first and second albums.

After their first set the band went off stage for an unusually long encore break. We all speculated that they were starting the post show party a little bit early, but it could have been that they just wanted us to really work for an encore. They finally emerged after much hooting and hollering to play a three song encore, ending with the venerable track PDA, which brought the house down. What a show. I've never been more inspired to play rock music for a living, or, for that matter, been inspired to grow a wild-west-style moustache (which, for your information, is well on its way).

The new album drops June 5th but hopefully it will leak before then.

A Call to Arms

2007-04-14T11:13:00.000-05:00

Well it happened. . .the record companies have finally taken steps to counteract the mass piracy that occurs every day in the form of 'bitTorrents'. They have begun sabotaging this popular file-sharing system by uploading 'decoy' trackers, in which the album being downloaded consists of 15 seconds of a song on repeat. I never thought that this technique, which we all remember first showed up during the heady Kazaa and Limewire days, would make its way to the bitTorrent community. It was our last stronghold of mass piracy. It seems like the end of an era.

Today I tried to download the new Fall Out Boy album with my nifty bitTorrent client Utorrent (if you don't already have a bittorrent program, go to utorrent.com . . .and YES that's right, Fall Out Boy. . . I'm not afraid to admit that I enjoy their brand of in-your-face corporate emo-punk that many a hipster would scoff at. I mean, just because kids in grade 8 think it's cool doesn't mean that it's garbage. . .obviously the majority of pop music is garage, but there is some good stuff too . . .but anyway, I digress) When I finished downloading the album the songs were nothing but the first 15 seconds on repeat. Jeez, it's like they want us to PAY for the music or something. I understand their motives, but this is getting stupid.

I understand that record companies need to make money. But I also realize that we have technology in place that it makes it TOO EASY to file-share (i.e. get music for FREE). So let's work together. Let's figure out a system in which music-lovers can get their music for free and record companies can still make some money. Here is this humble bloggers suggestion:

Artists will make all of their music available for free download on their official website. Website advertisement will provide all of the revenue.

Done.

I know if one my favourite bands said their new album was available for download in its entirety from their website, I would download it there rather than from a torrent. And maybe afterwards I would have an unexplained urge to go buy some brightly coloured t-shirts from American Apparel.

At the end of the day, I get free music, buy some shirts at American Apparel due to their great web ads, and American Apparel can afford to pay their sales representatives; one of whom is in an up-and-coming indie band that releases a sweet new album which gets an 8.9 on Pitchfork. And thus, the circle of life goes on.

Would this not work? Please post your thoughts.

The Books w/ Greg Davis: performance art at its best

2007-04-13T19:50:00.000-05:00

So me and my friend Baby Diego went to see The Books last night at Babylon on Bank St. Not the best venue, as anyone who has attended Babylon can attest to, but the show was highly enjoyable.

The night began with a set by Greg Davis, who is what one could describe as a 'Noise Artist'. He set up his gear (which consisted only of a keyboard and a laptop) on the ground in front of the stage, took off his shoes, sat down cross-legged and began his set. The first five minutes of the 'song' consisted of one note (I think it was a low A) which reverberated through the venue with a visceral hum. The hard-core noise art hipsters sat cross-legged around Davis and it kind of felt like I was witnessing some sort of seance or spiritual meditation. After a while he started messing with some knobs and recording voice loops on his computer, creating some awesome soundscapes (that's right, I used the word soundscapes). I was definitely impressed by the creativity of his set. I can appreciate that many music listeners would classify his set simply as 'noise' rather than 'noise art' but I respect what he's throwing out there. Art is art.

The Books started their set with an ode to the alphabet, and that sort of set the tone for the rest of the show. The two members of the band, one on guitar and the other on cello, played along with home videos that were being projected on a screen behind them. The Books rely heavily on 'found sound' for much of their material, taking clips from obscure videos from the 70's and 80's and incorporating them into an accessible sonic collage. Jokes are thrown into the mix and the overall effect is highly entertaining. The whole show can apparently be bought as a DVD which I'm sure would be just as fun to watch. So, if you've never heard The Books and you're willing to take the big step from indie music to noise art I suggest checking out thebooksmusic.com But then, you may be the type of person who thinks that things like melody, changing chords, and lyrics are passé, in which case go to myspace.com/gregdavismusic. Just make sure you don't start acting like you're better than everyone just because you 'get it'.

Poutine = Crack

2007-04-11T08:48:00.000-05:00

I have come to realize a few disturbing parallels between my favourite french-canadian snack poutine and the popular CNS stimulant crack/cocaine. I thought I would share them with you:

Psychological Dependance

Poutine: This french-canadian treat is comprised of a unique combination of french fries, cheese curds and gravy. It is DELICIOUS, and once a person is introduced to the dish (let's call these people "First-time users") they immediately associate poutine with happiness. This association usually leads to a second purchase of the dish.
Note: First and second time users tend to eat their first poutine at the end of a long night of drinking, which is sometimes used as an excuse to explain the behaviour. e.g. "Oh, I only get poutine when I'm drunk" or "I can't believe I got poutine last night. . .I was so hammered!" and so on.

Cocaine: This popular CNS stimulant causes a reuptake of dopamine in the synaptic cleft, thereby creating a euphoric effect in users. This sense of well-being and happiness encourages repeated use.

Physiological Effects

Cocaine: This drug is a powerful appetite suppresant. Heavy users binging on the drug can go long periods without food. When the effects of the drug wear off, users experience a "crash," which consists of intense fatigue and hunger. This period is followed by a period of depression. Many users will use the drug to combat this depression, which can lead to serious dependence.

Poutine: Conversely, poutine also acts as an appetite surpressant. Once a user has ingested a regular serving, they are unable to eat a thing until the poutine is processed by the body . The mere thought of food may cause the user to groan and make ridiculous claims like, "I'm never eating again. . ." This is usually followed by fatigue, and a quick nap is generally advised. After this stage, the user usually feels guilty and depressed that they have once again given in to their cravings, and he or she will attempt to offset the poutine with an apple or a light salad.
Note: Heavy users (i.e. Quebeckers) will often counteract these feelings with another steaming bowl of 'tiner. These people are also known as "My Heroes."

Health Risks

Cocaine: acute and chronic use of the drug can lead to a variety of health risks. Heart failure, respiratory problems, and increased blood pressure are common among heavy users.

Poutine: Obviously, the combination of deep-fried potatoes, cheese curds, and gravy (beef fat + flour) isn't one of the healthiest meal choices. Heavy use can lead to increased blood pressure, coronary heart failure, and a condition I call "The Day Sweats."

Conclusion

As you can see, poutine and cocaine are very similar. They both cause psychological dependence, they have similar side-effects, and both pose serious threats to ones health.

Don't get me wrong, though, I'm not here to tell you to stop eating poutine. I had a Mini from S & G's just yesterday with my friend Huson. It was amazing. However, I do want you to be informed about the health choices you are making. Remember, you're in the driver's seat here. If you respect poutine, it will respect you. I've come up with a few tips to help you control your poutine use:

1. Never have poutine for breakfast. That's just not fair to your body. If you are in desperate need of a poutine kick in the morning, I suggest poutine-izing your hashbrowns. Many a waitress will look you in disgust when you order it, but it's worth it.

2. Never eat poutine twice a day. This can be hard sometimes, especially if you've had poutine for breakfast and then go out drinking that night and need a late night fix so that you can fall asleep. In this case, limit yourself to a small poutine before bed.

3. Cola + Poutine = Synergy. If you're having trouble getting that poutine down, there is nothing better than an ice cold can of cola drink. Though purists from Quebec will tell you that Pepsi is the true poutine beverage, I prefer Coke. It's really all about personal preference. Also, I find that the caffeine gives you that extra kick when your body is trying to shut down all major body functions after the influx of fat and grease.

and finally,

4. Don't Lie to Yourself. Being drunk is no excuse to eat poutine guilt-free. You bought a poutine because it's delicious, not because you were drunk. Sure its unhealthy, but you know what? So is crack, but that doesn't mean it's not fun. Embrace poutine! Embrace the lifestyle! Just remember to get lots of exercise and have regular check-ups with your doctor. Remember, poutine's not a right. . . It's a privilege.

Until next time

Thought of the Day

2007-04-08T12:43:00.000-05:00

I was reading this article about blogging the other day and it said that a professor had stated: "Bloggers are lonely, isolated individuals that live in a virtual reality."

Now I wasn't offended or anything because I'm sure alot of bloggers are lonely, bored, unemployed, and pathetic. But it raises the question. . .what's more pathetic: Being a blogger or being a professor who studies bloggers? You decide.

Dears + Sam Roberts

2007-04-05T18:06:00.000-05:00

Went to see this show last night at the Civic Centre; it was put on for Carleton and Ottawa University students as an end-of-the-year do and luckily I was able to score tickets. Good show all around, Sam Roberts' set did do some serious damage to my hearing but we probably shouldn't have stood so close to the speakers. . .live and learn. It was somewhat disappointing that security confiscated my liquor at the door but maybe I'm just getting careless in my old age. It was bound to happen at some point; maybe its a blessing in disguise that I didn't get blind drunk on Wednesday.

The Dears put on a great show, playing mostly new tracks from their latest album 'Gang of Losers'. I was loving every minute, but was disappointed that Baby Murray Lightburn wasn't playing tambourine. I guess taking a one-year old on a rock and roll tour is never a good idea. Malajube is playing tonight at Zaphod's but I don't know if I'm going because I don't have job and I really should stop going out every night. Or maybe I should get a job. . . hopefully it won't come to that. . .

" The New [insert artist name] Album Leaked!"

2007-04-04T12:01:00.000-05:00

What's the deal with albums leaking on the internet? How does that happen? Maybe I'm just being ignorant, but who are these jerks? Is it someone in the studio who has access to the files? Is it a friend of the band who has been given an advance copy or something? It's a very strange phenomenon that now seems to be commonplace in the music industry and somewhat accepted.
I remember a couple of years ago the new broken social scene leaked about a month before it came out and Kevin Drew made a post on his website that indicated he was genuinely hurt that the album leaked and seemed almost disappointed by the fans that downloaded it. I believe it went something like this:
"You seeked our souls and you found it. The album you have is the finished product." referencing the popular file-sharing program SoulSeek. But then after the BSS show in Kingston that fall one of the guitarist commented that he was happy that the album leaked, because all the fans at the show knew the new material and were able to rock out harder. So there you go.

So the question is: Is leaking a good thing or a bad thing? I mean, once the album is finished and mixed why don't they just release it right away? (feel free to make a jab at Fat Robot here) I'm sure there is a reason having to do with maximizing profits or something like that. However, everyone knows you're not supposed to make money from music so I don't know if that's a good reason. Artists are supposed to be poor.

The band The Books are a perfect example of this. Despite a large fan base, most of their music is downloaded illegally, and they don't really make much money at all. However, if no one downloaded their music, a large percentage of their fans would have never heard of The Books, and The Books would not be able to go on tour.

So it seems that the situatiton is what one would refer to as a "Catch 22":
Illegal downloading = no money for the artist
No illegal downloading = noone listening to the artist.

Luckily I have a solution:
Illegal download all you want, never buy a CD again (who has CD players anymore anyway?) HOWEVER ( and this is a big one) whenever a band that you like comes to your town or city go to the show. And if you live somewhere that sucks (insert small town name here), make frequent road trips to see the bands that you like.

If you really like the band that you are seeing, you can buy a t-shirt. That way the band members get some extra drug money so they can continue destroying their body AND all your friends will know how indie you are when you where it. So it's win-win. If you're feeling really generous because of how much money your new blog is making, you can buy a record of their album. Records are really cool because you get all the album artwork four times bigger than it would be on a conventional CD, and also they last forever because vinyl never deteriorates (unless you play it too much, but remember you've already downloaded the album so just listen to it on your iRiver). Anyways, that's my idea, take it or leave it. Since I know the three people who read this blog very well, I'm sure they/you will agree. And I know that I sort of strayed away from the main discussion topic of this post, which was: The Deal With Leaked Albums and and ended up writing To Download Or Not To Download, but that's just because I'm not that good of a writer. Maybe I should go back to University.

Anyway, I've decided to start a new feature of the blog: Leaked album of the week, so stay tuned.

Novelty T-shirts

2007-04-01T16:58:00.000-05:00

I got this awesome shirt for my birthday from my friend Mike Huson, which sums up alot about who I am

Constantines + Jon Rae and the River

2007-04-01T16:27:00.000-05:00

Went to see the constantines last wednesday at barrymore's. Solid show, despite a somewhat coked up Bry Webb. I blame the bass player. . . I think he's a bad influence. Fortunately, Webb's face munching didn't take away from his performance. I don't blame the guy, its probably pretty hard to go out there on stage and rock out night after night on caffeine and alcohol alone.. . .anyways they played a couple new tracks which sounded pretty awesome and did a sick long version of Nighttime Anytime it's alright with everyone yelling "Turn it up!" right before it breaks back in. The band is tighter than I have ever seen them. . .I guess they have been touring with tournament of hearts for a while now. . .don't know when the new album is coming out but it should be pretty good. Hopefully they can return to form after the somewhat disappointing tournament of hearts. I remember asking the bass player in kingston why tournament of hearts wasn't as good as shine a light in a drunken stupor and he didn't react well with good reason. Why do I make enemies with a band that I love so much? Oh well. . . .Jon rae and the river had a good set, I haven't listened to the new album yet but I've seen them three times since it was released so I get the gist of it: Basically they like god. They didn't play lets roll so I was kind of disappointed but bry webb came out and sang their closer with them, which I think was a cover of something. . the crowd reacted like they played it often so indie nerds help me out here. . . a free pack of gum to anyone who can name the song. Other than that a good night. . .its always fun getting out of the house and taking in some solid canadian indie rock; talking about indie type stuff like pitchfork and blogs and beards and novelty t-shirts. This one guy had an awesome novelty t-shirt that said "I'm blogging this" which was just amazing. So we got a big week ahead, dears and sam roberts on wednesday at the civic centre (its a carleton university event but we are currently scheming about how to get in) and malajube on thursday which are a cool band from montreal who actually sing all in french which is refreshing (not that I don't like phoenix or anything). If you're in the area I suggest that you attend. stay tuned for more about these upcoming shows

Abolish the Penny!

2007-03-27T17:31:00.000-05:00

Seriously, pennies are the worst. . .they're worth nothing, they take up tons of space, and they're filthy. Think of how much unnecessary work would be eliminated if we abolished the penny. No more counting them, handling them, or carrying them. No more getting a fistful of copper every time you buy a 96 cent piece of jerky! No more feeling obliged to leave a penny in that little tray or feeling like a cheap bastard when you take a few for yourself. I mean, when you really think about it, the "take a penny leave a penny" tray is a testament to how worthless the penny actually is.

Trailblazing countries such as Switzerland, Australia, and New Zealand (among others) have abolished the penny and have never looked back. Will Canada be next, or are we doomed to waste away our lives counting out these garbage coins like a bunch of hosers? You decide.

The World Wide Inter-Web

2007-03-19T19:59:00.000-05:00

Hello Everyone,
I thought it was about time that I started a blog so here it is. Lately I felt like I have been taking too much from the internet and not giving anything back, so hopefully my blog will bring some balance to the universe. Here are a few things that I will write about on my blog:
- new bands that I'm listening to
- things that are hilarious
- general thoughts and observations on humanity

Hope you enjoy it and that it provides adequate distractions from mundane things like work or school or sitting around the house and watching old episodes of the office.

Tristan