10 Things

5 Things that are good:

1. Apples - There's nothing like a good apple. Delicious, nutritious, and refreshing. What more could you ask for in a snack? The best part about an apple is that you don't even need to throw out the core. Just toss it on the ground and nature will take care of itself. If you're lucky, an apple tree will grow.

2. Local beer - I've started buying beer that is brewed locally. A couple of good ones are Steamwhistle, which is brewed at the Roundhouse by the Skydome, and Amsterdam which is brewed at a place on Bathurst Street.
Local beer = local shipping = less emissions from beer delivery trucks = less damage to the environment = you can feel smug about being such a responsible and caring citizen of the planet.
Everybody wins. And buying local isn't restricted to beer. A variety of local products are available to the general public (apples, for example).

3. Exercise - Who knew that the more you exercise the better you will feel? Oh yeah, everyone. I guess I didn't get the memo and in years past have been known to neglect exercise in favour of eating poutine and other sloth-like behaviour. But that's all going to change one these days. Exercise = good. Poutine = good in moderation.

4. Poutine (or as the Quebecois call it "Ordures Chaudes" which roughly translates to "Hot Garbage") - I don't why I love poutine so much. Is it because it was invented by French Canadians? Is it because of the abnormal amount of sodium packed into one serving of the dish? Or is it the simplicity of poutine that I find so appealing? For whatever the reason, I love the stuff and have spent many a pleasant afternoon with a steaming Styrofoam container of 'tiner in front of me and a cold can of coke in hand. What a great treat.

5. The Internet - What an amazing network of information! The power that the internet gives people to exchange knowledge, ideas and information is staggering, and we are yet to come even close to realizing it's potential. Think of what the future holds!

5 Things that are bad:

1. The Toronto Transit Comission (TTC)- What the hell is going on with these people? Is it 1962? Commuting to work each day on this dated transit system is always an adventure, and I'm constantly amazed when I arrive at my destination alive and on time. It's like going back in time stepping into a TTC station. A time when credit cards and Interac didn't exist. I mean who uses those crazy things anyway? And what's this whole automation thing? Wouldn't it be more efficient to pay a unionized employee 30 dollars an hour to sit in a little booth and be an asshole to customers? It's not like his job security is based on how good of a job he does. That would make too much sense. What a joke.

2. Suburbs - The poor city planning of the past half-century has basically ruined everything and there's very little we can do about it. It is my professional opinion that the following places need to be bulldozed immediately so that we can "give it another shot":
(In no particular order)
Ajax, Brampton, Pickering, Whitby, Scarborough, Mississauga, Milton, Vaughan, Markham, and Newmarket. We can do better people!

3. Cigarettes - Man, cigarettes are pure evil even though I enjoy them so much. I think smoking is basically one the most reckless things you can do to yourself. I mean seriously, inhaling smoke into your lungs so that the the myriad of toxins in cigarette smoke can be absorbed by the supersensitive tissue in your alveoli is fucking revolting and makes me very ashamed of myself. Ugh.

4. Loud music on your earphones - I think in about 40 years a trend of hearing loss will emerge that will finally wake people up. You see these people put their ipod earphones on in public places and crank their music to drown out the noise around them. This is bad. These people are going to go deaf. If you really want to listen to music on the subway then you should get a pair of those industrial ear protectors and wear them over your earbuds. That way you can listen to Fall Out Boy at a reasonable level without causing irreparable damage to your eardrums.
You'll thank me when you're an old fart asking your granddaughter what she got for Christmas and you're able to hear her response: A Hoverbike.


5. Reality TV - Why is this still around? I thought the Survivor craze was done with. I can't believe people watch this garbage, living vicariously through these rich assholes in California. Live your life for chrissake! Join a book club or something.