9-5ers Anthem

Hello to everyone out there in Blogland, sorry I haven't posted for a while but I've been doing this whole "real life" thing and I'm obviously not allotting enough time in my day to blog. But that's all going to change. . . I bought a new computer with money that doesn't exist, so from now on the hours of 6 pm to 11 pm everday will be T-bone's Blog Time. That does mean, however, that I'll be spending 16 hours a day in front of computer screen, but I'm sure that's perfectly healthy. Anyways, since I know how much all of you (or should I say both of you) enjoyed my piece that chronicled a day in a life of leisure, I thought it would be a good contrast to write about a day in the life of a working slob.

7:00 am I wake up to an easy listening radio station for some reason. I don't like easy listening and do not listen to it. I usually turn the radio off once I've heard the news and weather. The reason for this was because I used to wake up to the generic rock radio station with "Gunner and the Duke in the Morning" or something terrible like that and I couldn't take it anymore. I woke up two mornings in a row to that fucking Finger Eleven song that sounds like shitty rip-off of Franz Ferdinands 'Take Me Out" and after that I lost it and changed the station, never to return. Easy Listening it is.

7:30 am I turn on the CTV Morning News and get all the information I could possible need to start my day. Usual news topics include the latest tractor-trailer crash on the 401 (basically every two days a tractor-trailer rolls over on the 401 during the morning rush hour closing off an entire direction of traffic) Other topics include: How to avoid identity theft, the new Harry Potter book or movie, and Lindsay Lohans latest drug fueled escapade. So basically really important stuff. I guess this is what I get for being too cheap to pay for cable.

8:00 am Get on the subway and thank the good lord that I'm not stuck in traffic on the 401. Pick up a copy of the Metro and read about all the inane news that I just heard about on the CTV morning show. Fuck.

8:30 am Stroll into the office and get to work. Make small talk with co-workers. Topics of conversation include: Latest tractor-trailer accident on the 401 or how amazing (or terrible, depending on who you're talking to) the new Transformers movie is.

12 pm Lunch is always a treat, even if you're not in the kitchen at 491 Broadview ave. Sure, you can't watch Conan O'brian on PVR while you eat, but it's still good.

5pm - 6 pm Debate in your mind if you should leave or keep working. One of the hardest parts of the day. On one hand, you can work late and everyone at the office thinks you're a hard worker ; you get respect and maybe get a raise one day. On the other hand, you leave early and get to go home and blog for five hours. . .very difficult decision indeed.

6pm - midnight. Get right back into leisure like its May 2007. Activities include: ultimate frisbee, playing guitar or drinking beers and going to concerts. All good things. Things that I have realized that one can enjoy while still holding down a job during the day. Imagine that. . .working during the day so you can relax and do things that you enjoy during the evening. . .What a novel concept. I wonder who thought of that? Oh yeah, every other human in history.

Anyway, thats my day. Obviously for a weekend day there's more sleeping and boozing and such, but I think you get the gist of it. Oh yeah and sometimes I make pasta.

Tarana

Here are ten things that I learned my first week here in Toronto, or as it is colloquially known, the Big Smoke.

1. Do not drive through residential streets at midnight on a Monday night if your exhaust pipe has fallen apart and it is dragging on the asphalt. Apparently, people in Toronto find this obnoxious.

2. If you are on the subway, it is mandatory to appear disinterested in life. Expressions of happiness are strictly forbidden.

3. If you live in the Annex, there is a good chance you are:
- a rich U of T student
- an old hippy who feeds your newborn organic pablum
- a crazy who feels you can best serve society by shouting obscenities at passersby
- a lame yuppie desperately trying to remain hip

4. The work world is not hard

5. The real money is in day-trading.

6. The metropass is a good investment.

7. The Bed-in-a-Bag (a portable inflatable bed), although a good idea in principle, is not the most comfortable long term sleeping option.

8. People in big cities dont give a shit.

9. Always carry your apartment keys everywhere you go (all 6 of them). Being locked out is not fun.

10. Driving cars is for suckers.