A Life of Leisure

Hello friends,
I haven't really been doing anything lately so I don't have anything funny to blog about. So I thought I'd give you guys a rundown on how I pass my time on an average weekday, because that's pretty funny in itself. . .and sad. OK here goes:

8:00 Wake up, fully rested. Seeing as I usually have little to nothing to do, I fall back asleep for a couple of hours.

10:30 Wake up again. This time I feel guilty for sleeping so late, so I hop out of bed and head downstairs to the kitchen, or as I call it, The office.

10:45 Make a cup of coffee and turn on CBC Newsworld while reading the paper and checking my email/facebook. This is my most productive time of the day. Information being bombarded at me from every direction while sweet caffeine flows through my body, preparing me for another action packed day. This is the time of day when I research prospective employers, send out resumes, prepare for interviews, and generally get shit done. Unfortunately, this part of the day only lasts until lunch. This is probably one of the reasons I'm still unemployed.

12:30 Ahh lunch, my favourite meal of the day. I'm a traditionalist, so I like the classic soup and sandwich lunch. The soup is usually Lipton Chicken Noodle and the sandwich is usually bologna or ham on a kaiser bun with some olives and mustard. If there happens to be cheese around, which, luckily for me, there is, I'll cut a few slices and throw that into the mix. Top it all off with a big class of chocolate milk or ice tea. Oh man, there's nothing like a good lunch to get you ready for the afternoon.

1:30 Now the afternoon tends to vary from day to day. I try to get some exercise every day, but it usually doesn't end up that way. I would say that about half the time I actually go out for a run or at least use my dad's elliptical trainer for a while. This is done so I can sweat out all the toxins that I invariably consume throughout the week. Today, I decided to get really ambitious and record some music, which is both fun and time-consuming, making it a perfect afternoon activity. Sometimes I'm called upon my Dad to do gopher work for his company. The other week I had to deliver an important package to the Iranian embassy for some sort of authentication (I don't ask questions) which was quite interesting. The guy at the embassy actually asked me if I was Iranian, which may have been a joke, but I'm not too sure.

4:00 Tea time. I take this time to eat an apple and drink some tea so I can feel healthy. I usually take this time to check my email and facebook for the three hundredth time that day. "Oh look! so-and-so is attending some party in a city that I don't live in. . .Cool" "Wow, whats-her-name was tagged in album entitled "Drunk Assholes". . .Neat!"

5:00 As healthy as I'm making myself out to be, I have to admit that alot of the time my apple and tea snack is replaced by cola and potato chips, and this is usually at 5:00 to coincide with the Simpsons on CBC. It's an age old tradition I have: 5:00 pm = potato chips + cola + simpsons on CBC. I no longer try to fight it. . it's who I am.

6:00 Downtime. This part of the day is the downtime before dinner. I usually take this time to do things like blog. Or, if there's a Sens game on, I go to the beer store with my group of cronies and buy a 6-pack of Old Milwaukee tall cans. $10.5o for 3 litres of quality lager. You can't beat that.

7:00 - 12:00 If there's a game on, we usually get together and watch it and drink ourselves into a nice little stupor. If not, then prime time television never ceases to entertain. Family Guy on Sunday, 24 on Monday, House on Tuesday, Lost on Wednesday, The Office on Thursday. Friday: go out on the town and get loser drunk. Saturday: watch hockey and then do the same as Friday. It's really quite simple. There's not much to it. I don't know why everyone complains about how hard life is. All you have to do is resign to living a mundane existence based on a strict schedule (pronounced shhhhedule). Forget your ambitions! Move back in with your parents! Start a blog! Get complacent! I did. . .and now I have a mustache. . .so there you go.

Alcohol: Friend or Foe?

Well, we've talked briefly about addiction on this blog (see Poutine = Crack) but I thought I'd muse about everyone's favourite mind-altering drug, alcohol, and maybe come to some general, off-the-cuff conclusions that aren't really well thought out. You, as a reader, can then post comments which point out the flaws of my argument. So here we go:

Are we all just a bunch of alcoholics? I mean, seriously, people drink alot. Think about when you and your friends are talking about all the crazy times you've had together over the years. Is it fair to say that the majority of these "crazy times" have been when everyone's been so boozed up that they invariably do something stupid and/or crazy? Nobody talks about that time when everyone sat in the living room and watched Lost for 11 hours. Because that's sad. Instead, we talk about that time that so-and-so threw up in her purse, or when whats-his-name went home with you-know who or the time dude-face funneled, like, 8-teen beers. I mean it's sad to come to this realization but it really raises the question: Is fun alcohol-fueled?

Now I know what some of you are saying: Listen "t-bone," if that is your real name, YOU may need alcohol to have fun, you lush, but I have fun doing wholesome stuff like playing sports and board games and going to the cinema. And if that's the case, good for you. I do have deep appreciation for good wholesome fun, but I think I have deeper appreciation for getting drunk and trying to take over the world. And I guess that's kind of fucked up. But that's just who I am.

So, why do people love booze so much? Chemically, alcohol is a CNS depressant (thank you PHARM 100) which means that it literally SLOWS down your nervous system so that your brain can't think as fast that it normally does (I'm sure Alanna could give you a more detailed account of what's really going on in the brain, but for all intents and purposes I'm not going to get into it). Basically, drunk people are primal versions of themselves, and display various traits of animal behaviour once inebriated.

A few examples of this:

• Bar fights (displays of dominance)
  
• hooking up with unattractive people (the immediate need for procreation)

and, of course

• eating poutine and other fast food (fattening up for hibernation)

Maybe people drink because they're sick of their mind buzzing all the time, with all those pesky 'thoughts'. Booze dumbs you down a bit, and I think sometimes that's exactly what people want. I mean couldn't you describe worrying as "over-thinking"? I've made up a little equation using concepts I learned studying applied science.

Too many thoughts = Worry [1]
Too many thoughts + Booze = Happy [2]
Less thoughts = Happy [3]

You can't argue with that, that's just science.

Anyway, thats the post. I'm sorry I didn't really prove anything, thats for the scientists to do. I just think the relationship that humans have with alcohol is interesting, funny, meaningful, and tragic all at the same time and deserves some closer attention. I'll leave you with this quote that was sent in to me by my friend B. Cork. Actually that's too obvious, let's just call him Brian C.

"When you're drunk, you don't say things you don't mean, you say things you mean but shouldn't say."

Interpol

A month of great live music in Ottawa reached its zenith on Sunday with an unreal Interpol concert at the New Capital Music Hall.

I could hardly believe what I was reading when I found out in early March that Interpol was starting their tour in the nation's capital, and wasted no time getting my paws on some tickets for me and my entourage. The idea that we would be hearing the new songs before anyone else made me feel indie as hell and, seeing as I don't have a job or any sort of future prospects, it's given me a reason to get up in the morning. Sure enough, after a month of anticipation, Interpol did not dissapoint.

They opened the show with one of their new songs: 'Pioneer' (see Video of the Week), and it was everything we could expect from a new Intepol track: Dark, melodic, and hauntingly catchy. I was particularly happy that they played a new song to open the show because I had bet my blogmate Bernty a beer that they would do just that.

The band was dressed in classic Interpol style: tailored black shirts and ties with an air about them that seemed to exude all that we have ever held to be "cool." Carlos D. chose a western motif: a Texas string tie and vest, topped off with moustache that wouldn't have looked out of place in the Black Hills of Dakota. Did I mention the drummer was dressed in the style of a prison inmate from the 50's? Because he was. All in all, the band looked great and sounded better, playing a smattering of new stuff as well as fan favourites from their first and second albums.

After their first set the band went off stage for an unusually long encore break. We all speculated that they were starting the post show party a little bit early, but it could have been that they just wanted us to really work for an encore. They finally emerged after much hooting and hollering to play a three song encore, ending with the venerable track PDA, which brought the house down. What a show. I've never been more inspired to play rock music for a living, or, for that matter, been inspired to grow a wild-west-style moustache (which, for your information, is well on its way).

The new album drops June 5th but hopefully it will leak before then.

A Call to Arms

Well it happened. . .the record companies have finally taken steps to counteract the mass piracy that occurs every day in the form of 'bitTorrents'. They have begun sabotaging this popular file-sharing system by uploading 'decoy' trackers, in which the album being downloaded consists of 15 seconds of a song on repeat. I never thought that this technique, which we all remember first showed up during the heady Kazaa and Limewire days, would make its way to the bitTorrent community. It was our last stronghold of mass piracy. It seems like the end of an era.

Today I tried to download the new Fall Out Boy album with my nifty bitTorrent client Utorrent (if you don't already have a bittorrent program, go to utorrent.com . . .and YES that's right, Fall Out Boy. . . I'm not afraid to admit that I enjoy their brand of in-your-face corporate emo-punk that many a hipster would scoff at. I mean, just because kids in grade 8 think it's cool doesn't mean that it's garbage. . .obviously the majority of pop music is garage, but there is some good stuff too . . .but anyway, I digress) When I finished downloading the album the songs were nothing but the first 15 seconds on repeat. Jeez, it's like they want us to PAY for the music or something. I understand their motives, but this is getting stupid.

I understand that record companies need to make money. But I also realize that we have technology in place that it makes it TOO EASY to file-share (i.e. get music for FREE). So let's work together. Let's figure out a system in which music-lovers can get their music for free and record companies can still make some money. Here is this humble bloggers suggestion:

Artists will make all of their music available for free download on their official website. Website advertisement will provide all of the revenue.

Done.

I know if one my favourite bands said their new album was available for download in its entirety from their website, I would download it there rather than from a torrent. And maybe afterwards I would have an unexplained urge to go buy some brightly coloured t-shirts from American Apparel.

At the end of the day, I get free music, buy some shirts at American Apparel due to their great web ads, and American Apparel can afford to pay their sales representatives; one of whom is in an up-and-coming indie band that releases a sweet new album which gets an 8.9 on Pitchfork. And thus, the circle of life goes on.

Would this not work? Please post your thoughts.

The Books w/ Greg Davis: performance art at its best

So me and my friend Baby Diego went to see The Books last night at Babylon on Bank St. Not the best venue, as anyone who has attended Babylon can attest to, but the show was highly enjoyable.

The night began with a set by Greg Davis, who is what one could describe as a 'Noise Artist'. He set up his gear (which consisted only of a keyboard and a laptop) on the ground in front of the stage, took off his shoes, sat down cross-legged and began his set. The first five minutes of the 'song' consisted of one note (I think it was a low A) which reverberated through the venue with a visceral hum. The hard-core noise art hipsters sat cross-legged around Davis and it kind of felt like I was witnessing some sort of seance or spiritual meditation. After a while he started messing with some knobs and recording voice loops on his computer, creating some awesome soundscapes (that's right, I used the word soundscapes). I was definitely impressed by the creativity of his set. I can appreciate that many music listeners would classify his set simply as 'noise' rather than 'noise art' but I respect what he's throwing out there. Art is art.

The Books started their set with an ode to the alphabet, and that sort of set the tone for the rest of the show. The two members of the band, one on guitar and the other on cello, played along with home videos that were being projected on a screen behind them. The Books rely heavily on 'found sound' for much of their material, taking clips from obscure videos from the 70's and 80's and incorporating them into an accessible sonic collage. Jokes are thrown into the mix and the overall effect is highly entertaining. The whole show can apparently be bought as a DVD which I'm sure would be just as fun to watch. So, if you've never heard The Books and you're willing to take the big step from indie music to noise art I suggest checking out thebooksmusic.com But then, you may be the type of person who thinks that things like melody, changing chords, and lyrics are passé, in which case go to myspace.com/gregdavismusic. Just make sure you don't start acting like you're better than everyone just because you 'get it'.

Poutine = Crack

I have come to realize a few disturbing parallels between my favourite french-canadian snack poutine and the popular CNS stimulant crack/cocaine. I thought I would share them with you:

Psychological Dependance

Poutine: This french-canadian treat is comprised of a unique combination of french fries, cheese curds and gravy. It is DELICIOUS, and once a person is introduced to the dish (let's call these people "First-time users") they immediately associate poutine with happiness. This association usually leads to a second purchase of the dish.
Note: First and second time users tend to eat their first poutine at the end of a long night of drinking, which is sometimes used as an excuse to explain the behaviour. e.g. "Oh, I only get poutine when I'm drunk" or "I can't believe I got poutine last night. . .I was so hammered!" and so on.

Cocaine: This popular CNS stimulant causes a reuptake of dopamine in the synaptic cleft, thereby creating a euphoric effect in users. This sense of well-being and happiness encourages repeated use.

Physiological Effects

Cocaine: This drug is a powerful appetite suppresant. Heavy users binging on the drug can go long periods without food. When the effects of the drug wear off, users experience a "crash," which consists of intense fatigue and hunger. This period is followed by a period of depression. Many users will use the drug to combat this depression, which can lead to serious dependence.

Poutine: Conversely, poutine also acts as an appetite surpressant. Once a user has ingested a regular serving, they are unable to eat a thing until the poutine is processed by the body . The mere thought of food may cause the user to groan and make ridiculous claims like, "I'm never eating again. . ." This is usually followed by fatigue, and a quick nap is generally advised. After this stage, the user usually feels guilty and depressed that they have once again given in to their cravings, and he or she will attempt to offset the poutine with an apple or a light salad.
Note: Heavy users (i.e. Quebeckers) will often counteract these feelings with another steaming bowl of 'tiner. These people are also known as "My Heroes."

Health Risks

Cocaine: acute and chronic use of the drug can lead to a variety of health risks. Heart failure, respiratory problems, and increased blood pressure are common among heavy users.

Poutine: Obviously, the combination of deep-fried potatoes, cheese curds, and gravy (beef fat + flour) isn't one of the healthiest meal choices. Heavy use can lead to increased blood pressure, coronary heart failure, and a condition I call "The Day Sweats."

Conclusion

As you can see, poutine and cocaine are very similar. They both cause psychological dependence, they have similar side-effects, and both pose serious threats to ones health.

Don't get me wrong, though, I'm not here to tell you to stop eating poutine. I had a Mini from S & G's just yesterday with my friend Huson. It was amazing. However, I do want you to be informed about the health choices you are making. Remember, you're in the driver's seat here. If you respect poutine, it will respect you. I've come up with a few tips to help you control your poutine use:

1. Never have poutine for breakfast. That's just not fair to your body. If you are in desperate need of a poutine kick in the morning, I suggest poutine-izing your hashbrowns. Many a waitress will look you in disgust when you order it, but it's worth it.

2. Never eat poutine twice a day. This can be hard sometimes, especially if you've had poutine for breakfast and then go out drinking that night and need a late night fix so that you can fall asleep. In this case, limit yourself to a small poutine before bed.

3. Cola + Poutine = Synergy. If you're having trouble getting that poutine down, there is nothing better than an ice cold can of cola drink. Though purists from Quebec will tell you that Pepsi is the true poutine beverage, I prefer Coke. It's really all about personal preference. Also, I find that the caffeine gives you that extra kick when your body is trying to shut down all major body functions after the influx of fat and grease.

and finally,

4. Don't Lie to Yourself. Being drunk is no excuse to eat poutine guilt-free. You bought a poutine because it's delicious, not because you were drunk. Sure its unhealthy, but you know what? So is crack, but that doesn't mean it's not fun. Embrace poutine! Embrace the lifestyle! Just remember to get lots of exercise and have regular check-ups with your doctor. Remember, poutine's not a right. . . It's a privilege.

Until next time

Thought of the Day

I was reading this article about blogging the other day and it said that a professor had stated: "Bloggers are lonely, isolated individuals that live in a virtual reality."

Now I wasn't offended or anything because I'm sure alot of bloggers are lonely, bored, unemployed, and pathetic. But it raises the question. . .what's more pathetic: Being a blogger or being a professor who studies bloggers? You decide.

Dears + Sam Roberts

Went to see this show last night at the Civic Centre; it was put on for Carleton and Ottawa University students as an end-of-the-year do and luckily I was able to score tickets. Good show all around, Sam Roberts' set did do some serious damage to my hearing but we probably shouldn't have stood so close to the speakers. . .live and learn. It was somewhat disappointing that security confiscated my liquor at the door but maybe I'm just getting careless in my old age. It was bound to happen at some point; maybe its a blessing in disguise that I didn't get blind drunk on Wednesday.

The Dears put on a great show, playing mostly new tracks from their latest album 'Gang of Losers'. I was loving every minute, but was disappointed that Baby Murray Lightburn wasn't playing tambourine. I guess taking a one-year old on a rock and roll tour is never a good idea. Malajube is playing tonight at Zaphod's but I don't know if I'm going because I don't have job and I really should stop going out every night. Or maybe I should get a job. . . hopefully it won't come to that. . .

" The New [insert artist name] Album Leaked!"

What's the deal with albums leaking on the internet? How does that happen? Maybe I'm just being ignorant, but who are these jerks? Is it someone in the studio who has access to the files? Is it a friend of the band who has been given an advance copy or something? It's a very strange phenomenon that now seems to be commonplace in the music industry and somewhat accepted.
I remember a couple of years ago the new broken social scene leaked about a month before it came out and Kevin Drew made a post on his website that indicated he was genuinely hurt that the album leaked and seemed almost disappointed by the fans that downloaded it. I believe it went something like this:
"You seeked our souls and you found it. The album you have is the finished product." referencing the popular file-sharing program SoulSeek. But then after the BSS show in Kingston that fall one of the guitarist commented that he was happy that the album leaked, because all the fans at the show knew the new material and were able to rock out harder. So there you go.

So the question is: Is leaking a good thing or a bad thing? I mean, once the album is finished and mixed why don't they just release it right away? (feel free to make a jab at Fat Robot here) I'm sure there is a reason having to do with maximizing profits or something like that. However, everyone knows you're not supposed to make money from music so I don't know if that's a good reason. Artists are supposed to be poor.

The band The Books are a perfect example of this. Despite a large fan base, most of their music is downloaded illegally, and they don't really make much money at all. However, if no one downloaded their music, a large percentage of their fans would have never heard of The Books, and The Books would not be able to go on tour.

So it seems that the situatiton is what one would refer to as a "Catch 22":
Illegal downloading = no money for the artist
No illegal downloading = noone listening to the artist.

Luckily I have a solution:
Illegal download all you want, never buy a CD again (who has CD players anymore anyway?) HOWEVER ( and this is a big one) whenever a band that you like comes to your town or city go to the show. And if you live somewhere that sucks (insert small town name here), make frequent road trips to see the bands that you like.

If you really like the band that you are seeing, you can buy a t-shirt. That way the band members get some extra drug money so they can continue destroying their body AND all your friends will know how indie you are when you where it. So it's win-win. If you're feeling really generous because of how much money your new blog is making, you can buy a record of their album. Records are really cool because you get all the album artwork four times bigger than it would be on a conventional CD, and also they last forever because vinyl never deteriorates (unless you play it too much, but remember you've already downloaded the album so just listen to it on your iRiver). Anyways, that's my idea, take it or leave it. Since I know the three people who read this blog very well, I'm sure they/you will agree. And I know that I sort of strayed away from the main discussion topic of this post, which was: The Deal With Leaked Albums and and ended up writing To Download Or Not To Download, but that's just because I'm not that good of a writer. Maybe I should go back to University.

Anyway, I've decided to start a new feature of the blog: Leaked album of the week, so stay tuned.

Novelty T-shirts

I got this awesome shirt for my birthday from my friend Mike Huson, which sums up alot about who I am

Constantines + Jon Rae and the River

Went to see the constantines last wednesday at barrymore's. Solid show, despite a somewhat coked up Bry Webb. I blame the bass player. . . I think he's a bad influence. Fortunately, Webb's face munching didn't take away from his performance. I don't blame the guy, its probably pretty hard to go out there on stage and rock out night after night on caffeine and alcohol alone.. . .anyways they played a couple new tracks which sounded pretty awesome and did a sick long version of Nighttime Anytime it's alright with everyone yelling "Turn it up!" right before it breaks back in. The band is tighter than I have ever seen them. . .I guess they have been touring with tournament of hearts for a while now. . .don't know when the new album is coming out but it should be pretty good. Hopefully they can return to form after the somewhat disappointing tournament of hearts. I remember asking the bass player in kingston why tournament of hearts wasn't as good as shine a light in a drunken stupor and he didn't react well with good reason. Why do I make enemies with a band that I love so much? Oh well. . . .Jon rae and the river had a good set, I haven't listened to the new album yet but I've seen them three times since it was released so I get the gist of it: Basically they like god. They didn't play lets roll so I was kind of disappointed but bry webb came out and sang their closer with them, which I think was a cover of something. . the crowd reacted like they played it often so indie nerds help me out here. . . a free pack of gum to anyone who can name the song. Other than that a good night. . .its always fun getting out of the house and taking in some solid canadian indie rock; talking about indie type stuff like pitchfork and blogs and beards and novelty t-shirts. This one guy had an awesome novelty t-shirt that said "I'm blogging this" which was just amazing. So we got a big week ahead, dears and sam roberts on wednesday at the civic centre (its a carleton university event but we are currently scheming about how to get in) and malajube on thursday which are a cool band from montreal who actually sing all in french which is refreshing (not that I don't like phoenix or anything). If you're in the area I suggest that you attend. stay tuned for more about these upcoming shows