Canadian Music Week

Last Wednesday I had the opportunity to go see Deerhoof at the Phoenix, a band which I have listened to for a number of years but had never seen live. The concert was part of the Eye Weekly sponsored "Canadian Music Week", where a number of concerts are staged throughout the week around the great city of Toronto.

When I arrived at the Phoenix, which is a spacious venue on Sherbourne street, Sebastien Granger and the Montagnes were preparing to go on. Sebastien Granger, for those of you who don't know, was the lead singer and drummer of the acclaimed pop thrash metal(?) band Death From Above 1979. Since the band broke up a couple of years ago, we haven't heard much from Sebastien, whereas his counterpart Jesse Keeler went on to form the successful electro-dance-punk MSTRKRFT (a name inspired by Canadian Tire's popular brand of well-made, yet affordable, power tools.) Sebastien's new band seems to have all the right building blocks of a successful new indie band (fashionable haircuts, moustaches, painted-on white jeans, and indie cred. . . ) but their songs were lacking that edge and originality that made a band like MSTRKRFT so popular. However, this band was miles above the following act, which I'm going to brazenly describe as THE WORST SET I HAVE EVER SEEN.

Ladies and Gentlemen,I give you No Age. The band No Age consists simply of a drummer/singer and a guitarist. The drummer can drum, I'll give you that, but his singing was terrible. The guitarist may be able to play guitar, but you can't tell because everything he plays is awash in distortion and prerecorded "ambiance". Any semblance of melody or chord structure was indiscernible and the instrumentation grating and convoluted. I could actually feel my ears being damaged from listening to this crap. Now, I know what you're saying: Man, this old guy doesn't know what he's talking about. . that shit was off the hook! I may be getting long in the tooth but I still appreciate a wide variety of music, and I'm not adverse to noise art either (music's bastardized cousin). But No Age was neither of these things. It was a perfect example of what happens when P4K hypes up a band that isn't actually talented. It seems as though people were enjoying this music because they were supposed to enjoy it, which I find shameful and tragic. By the end of the set I was so furious with No Age, and the destruction they were doing to my already-mangled ear drums, I threw my plastic beer cup towards the stage. (my apologies to the hipster I smoked in the back of the head.) I immediately regretted my redneck-esque behaviour, but I just couldn't take it anymore. If I'm going to ruin my hearing, I would like it to come from listening to music I actually enjoy.

Deerhoof got to the stage and put on a great show. They had a huge spinning propeller on stage that was lit up with LCD's and flashed in time with the music. It was very cool. Anyway. . .moral of the story: Sebastien Granger=nothing to scream about. No Age=worst band ever. Deerhoof=always entertaining.

Ian Curtis Smashed My Apartment

Well, last night was Friday, so, as per usual, I went out with my asshole friends and got shitty drunk to celebrate the end of the work week. I had a pretty productive week; I worked alot, contemplated the nature of human existence, and even got to play around with the new loop pedal I got. But all that is meaningless now. Because Ian Curtis smashed my apartment.

It was around 3:30 in the morning. I was about to go to bed when my alcoholic roommate knocked violently on my bedroom door. "Yo," he said. "Drink this." I looked down and he was holding a freshly opened beer in his hand. "Umm," I stammered. "I was going to go to bed. . . don't know if I need another pint at this stage of my life. . ." I already knew I was going to give in. "Yes," he said. "You do."

I caved, grabbed the beer and headed into the living room, where my other two roomates were hanging out. Music was blaring and it was apparent that a massive game of foosball was about to go down.

The game went well, some good passes, some good chirps, everything seemed quite typical. That was before the Joy Division came on. Thats when things got stupid.

I know that music can evoke powerful emotions, but I've never seen anything like this. The song "Transmission" put everyone into a frenzy. Within two minutes, the apartment had been destroyed. The couch and the armchairs got flipped, bicycles were sent flying across the room. Paintings on the wall were ripped down and beer was strewn everywhere. It was a manic episode that seemed surreal. I couldn't believe what was happening. Why were we destroying our own apartment? What would compel anyone to do such a thing? But then I remembered we were listening to Joy Division and I decided that it was all Ian Curtis' fault.

I don't know why we did what we did. I don't know what our problem is. . .Are we nuts? Are we idiots? Are we assholes? Maybe a combination of the three. Regardless, we should be evicted. Moral of the Story: NO JOY DIVISION AFTER MIDNIGHT.

Year in Review 2007

As I'm sure you've all noticed, this week all the hip blogs have been posting their Year in Review articles so we here at Get Distracted decided to compile a list of 'Albums of the Year'. Here we go. . .

The Decemberists - The Crane Wife
This album was technically released in 2006, but I was off on a spiritual journey in Australia, New Zealand and Southeast Asia at the start of the year so my music was a bit behind the times. This album was one of the first times I consciously forced myself to listen to the lyrics of the songs. Alot of times I listen to music simply for the melodies and instrumentation. (Probably why I'm such a terrible lyricist) Each song on this album tells a neat little short story with an old-timey theme. Murderous butchers who kill misbehaving children and ghosts of American Civil War soldiers are among the subjects of the songs on the Crane Wife. Interesting lyrics + great melodies = good listen. Listen to O Valencia.

The Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
No one knew what to expect of the sophomore effort from the indie media darlings The Arcade Fire. Many drew similarities between this album and the music of the legendary Bruce Springsteen. The influence is easy to hear on a song like 'Keep the Car Running.' The hurried vocals and driving beat sounds like Springsteen in a post-apocalyptic world. Obviously the Boss heard the influence as well; in the fall he invited Win and Regine on stage to perform 'Keep the Car Running' with him at his concert in Ottawa. Check it out here.

Muse - Black Holes and Revelations
If you asked me a year ago what I thought of Muse, the only thing I would be able to say is "I think they're really big in Quebec." The statement would be true, but until this year, I had never given Muse a chance. All I knew about them was there Thom Yorke-ish vocals and their popularity with our French counterparts. On my friends advice, I downloaded their new album and their previous album Absolution. The music has a Radiohead-type feel to it, but the instrumentation showcases a technical proficiency that would make any prog aficionado proud. Their show at Arrow Hall was a multimedia extravaganza, and at the end of the show I found myself in a trance, as if I just received an alien transmission into my brain. And I wasn't even that boozed up. Check out the video for Invincible

Menomena - Friend and Foe
A pretentious band name and a unique, non-offensive sound gave these up-and-comers a leg up in the over-saturated world of indie music this year. I still don't know how the band name should be pronounced. I always thought it should be pronounced like that song from The Muppets, but I still remember that jerk at Zaphods who pronounced it "Mee-No Mee-Nah" . What an ass. Menomena - Muscle n' Flo

The Thermals - The Body, The Blood, The Machine
I'm pretty sure The Thermals use the same four chords throughout this entire album, but, like a trendy hybrid car, they do more with less. If you think you might like punk music but you're sort of scared to try it out, The Thermals are a good way to ease you into it. Their unique brand of post-pop-punk-neo-grunge is perfected on this album. I like listening to this album while playing foosball or doing something active. It will get you riled. The Thermals - Here's Your Future

Broken Social Scene presents Kevin Drew - Spirit If. . .
K. Drew and his gang return to form on this album. The result is a more intimate record much like the masterful You Forgot It In People. It's not technically a BSS record, but it might as well be. In the New Year, the next album in the series 'BSS presents Brendan Canning' is set to be released. I wait for this album with trepidation. Hopefully it's better than his inane stage banter. . . . K.Drew - Lucky Ones

Well that's all I got for now. The first time I wrote my year in review the entire entry was deleted right before I was about to post, so what you're reading is actually the 'second draft' of my year in review. You'll have to trust me that it was much more interesting, witty, and generally well-written the first time through. Anyway, I'll leave you with a few Bests and Worsts of the year. Enjoy.

Best Show of the Year: Interpol, New Capital Music Hall, Ottawa, ON. Best concert of my life.

Most Drunken Concert of the Year: Kanye West, Bluesfest, Ottawa, ON. Double-fisting Carling lagers pre-show and VIP tickets (with private beer tent) both contributed to near blackout sloppiness. I got a lot of great pictures though.

Best Venue: Lee's Palace, Toronto, ON: Whether seeing Built to Spill or Fat Robot, this venue is legendary. Located in the heart of the annex, after-show shwarmas are essential.

Worst Venue: Arrow Hall, Milton (?), ON. Toronto's a great city and all, but the GTA is a terrible sprawling suburban wasteland. The only way to get out to this venue is to drive or be driven. This makes the concert experience somewhat of a headache and severely detracts from its overall enjoyment. When I went to see Muse I missed the opening band (Cold War Kids) because they went on at 6:30. Well done, Arrow Hall. Word of advice: When in Toronto, never leave the metropolitan area. Its a dark and desolate place.

Freakiest Concert: Justice at Circa, Toronto, ON. Toronto's hipster freaks came out in full force from under their hot plates, making for an unforgettable show.

Best Guest Appearance: Hayden at The National, The Phoenix, Toronto, ON: For The National's encore, Hayden came up on stage and performed a great rendition of Dynamite Walls. Hayden is a Canadian folk-grunge legend, and seeing him onstage with a contemporary indie band like The National made me have some sort of weird religious awakening, like I realized that all music was connected or something. Whatever happened, it was sick. Listen to the song Dynamite Walls and it might make sense.

Best Record Store: Sonic Boom, Bloor & Bathurst, Toronto, ON. Contemporary vinyl aplenty and an endless supply of the most recent Vice magazine make this store a great destination.

Most Pretentious Record Store: Vertigo, Rideau St., Ottawa, ON
[after inquiring whether they had the new Gorillaz D-Sides album] "The Gorillaz?"

Best TV Documentary of the Year: Planet Earth: A treasure trove of fascinating footage of unique animal behaviour and natural landscapes. As Diego would say, "Twenty-somethings getting together and watching Planet Earth is the trendy thing to do these days."

Best TV Comedy Show: Kenny vs. Spenny. Watch full episodes here.

Best Movie of the Year: Control. This biography of Joy Division's Ian Curtis is amazing. I also recommend watching 24 Hour Party People if you're into the whole Manchester post-punk thing.

Worst Movie of the Year: Transformers. You will be upset that all the humans are not destroyed at the end of this movie. In math terms, this movie would be described as 'the lowest common denominator'

Ok that's it. All in all its been a good year. Friends became enemies, enemies became friends, lessons were learned and forgotten. Money was earned and squandered. Hearing was damaged. Such is the ebb and flow of life. We have 2008 to look forward to. The Constantines are hard at work on a new album and the Hollywood writer's strike is coming to an end. What more can you ask for?.. . I guess if we have the time we could all pitch in and maybe try to stop destroying the planet. . .or is that too much to ask? Is it still cool to be environmentally conscious? Or has it all been an elaborate marketing ploy? hmm. . . Anyways have a good New Year everyone. Don't drink too much champagne and keep blogging!

Big City Poutine

It started innocently enough: I was sitting on my couch hungover this past Sunday, watching television while simultaneously looking up stupid and/or inane things on the internet. Being hungover and from Ottawa, my mind obviously wandered to poutine, and after reading the Wikipedia article on poutine I decided that I it was time for me to answer the question that I had been pondering lo these past 5 months in Toronto:

Can you get a good poutine in this city? And if so, where?

Obviously I've had a few run-ins with the Quebecois treat since I've moved to Toronto, but none of them had been that memorable. I'd eaten poutine several times at the New York Fries down at the Eaton Centre, but that hardly counts.

Though I will argue that the New York Fries poutine is one of the most delicious (and widely available) poutines you can get, I would never consider it a TRUE poutine, because it's made by a fast-food franchise.

A true poutine, i.e. one that follows the Quebecois Poutine Purity Laws of 1863, must be purchased at some sort of shack (possibly a truck converted into a shack) or a traditional quebecois "casse-croute", which is basically a fry shack with a cigarette machine in it as well.

The poutine must contain three ingredients (and only three ingredients). These three ingredients, which to many devout Quebecois have replaced the holy trinity, are as follows:

1. French Fries
2. Cheese Curd
3. Gravy

Nothing more, nothing less. No smoke meat on top. No bacon bits. No ketchup. No substituting the curd for grated cheese. No chicken gravy. No ground beef.

Stick to the formula.

And that was what I was looking for in Toronto. A traditional poutine that I would be able to serve my friends from Ottawa and Montreal and not feel ashamed. So, like any internet-savvy guy with unequivocal faith in the power of Google, I googled exactly what I wanted to know:

"Where can I find the best poutine in Toronto?"

Google responded with a nice smattering of message board posts on exactly that subject. (Yes, it's true, people are so bored that they have nothing better to do than argue about where one can get the best poutine in Toronto on message boards. However, because of them, I found my answer.)

By poring over user comments on several different websites, I was satisfied that I had found the place. "The blue truck at city hall" sounded like the place I was looking for. Real curd, healthy portions, and no fancy stuff. I was convinced.

I headed downtown towards the truck with an anxious anticipation that I had not felt in a long while. It was as though my opinion of the City of Toronto as a whole was resting solely in the hands of some unsuspecting poutine merchant. I was scared, I was nervous, but I was also quite hungry. Me and my two friends walked briskly towards our destination. Not much was said; we all knew what was riding on this 'tiner.

There it was in the distance. The blue truck! . . .I walked hurriedly to the truck and ordered a large poutine without even regarding the size of the large container. This is what had to be done.

True to the message boards, the poutine did not disappoint. Curds were large and juicy, the gravy dark, and the fries crunchy yet still succulent. It was a Quebec style poutine in the City of Toronto, served with the traditional cola. We even ate the poutine a la mode by the outdoor skating rink at Nathan Philips Square, which is the best way to enjoy the dish.

In olden times, it was customary for the Chasseures of New France to enjoy their poutine outside as they ice fished over frozen ponds. They believed that the smell of the poutine or "L'odeur du désordre" helped attract the fish, and they also believed the poutine would give them good luck until the spring thaw.

I don't know about good luck, but the poutine did fill me up and gave me hope that the City of Toronto wasn't just a barren urban jungle of Anglophiles and Leafs fans. And though the poutine was good, I'm convinced there's more out there, and I'll find them soon enough. Until next time.

10 Things

5 Things that are good:

1. Apples - There's nothing like a good apple. Delicious, nutritious, and refreshing. What more could you ask for in a snack? The best part about an apple is that you don't even need to throw out the core. Just toss it on the ground and nature will take care of itself. If you're lucky, an apple tree will grow.

2. Local beer - I've started buying beer that is brewed locally. A couple of good ones are Steamwhistle, which is brewed at the Roundhouse by the Skydome, and Amsterdam which is brewed at a place on Bathurst Street.
Local beer = local shipping = less emissions from beer delivery trucks = less damage to the environment = you can feel smug about being such a responsible and caring citizen of the planet.
Everybody wins. And buying local isn't restricted to beer. A variety of local products are available to the general public (apples, for example).

3. Exercise - Who knew that the more you exercise the better you will feel? Oh yeah, everyone. I guess I didn't get the memo and in years past have been known to neglect exercise in favour of eating poutine and other sloth-like behaviour. But that's all going to change one these days. Exercise = good. Poutine = good in moderation.

4. Poutine (or as the Quebecois call it "Ordures Chaudes" which roughly translates to "Hot Garbage") - I don't why I love poutine so much. Is it because it was invented by French Canadians? Is it because of the abnormal amount of sodium packed into one serving of the dish? Or is it the simplicity of poutine that I find so appealing? For whatever the reason, I love the stuff and have spent many a pleasant afternoon with a steaming Styrofoam container of 'tiner in front of me and a cold can of coke in hand. What a great treat.

5. The Internet - What an amazing network of information! The power that the internet gives people to exchange knowledge, ideas and information is staggering, and we are yet to come even close to realizing it's potential. Think of what the future holds!

5 Things that are bad:

1. The Toronto Transit Comission (TTC)- What the hell is going on with these people? Is it 1962? Commuting to work each day on this dated transit system is always an adventure, and I'm constantly amazed when I arrive at my destination alive and on time. It's like going back in time stepping into a TTC station. A time when credit cards and Interac didn't exist. I mean who uses those crazy things anyway? And what's this whole automation thing? Wouldn't it be more efficient to pay a unionized employee 30 dollars an hour to sit in a little booth and be an asshole to customers? It's not like his job security is based on how good of a job he does. That would make too much sense. What a joke.

2. Suburbs - The poor city planning of the past half-century has basically ruined everything and there's very little we can do about it. It is my professional opinion that the following places need to be bulldozed immediately so that we can "give it another shot":
(In no particular order)
Ajax, Brampton, Pickering, Whitby, Scarborough, Mississauga, Milton, Vaughan, Markham, and Newmarket. We can do better people!

3. Cigarettes - Man, cigarettes are pure evil even though I enjoy them so much. I think smoking is basically one the most reckless things you can do to yourself. I mean seriously, inhaling smoke into your lungs so that the the myriad of toxins in cigarette smoke can be absorbed by the supersensitive tissue in your alveoli is fucking revolting and makes me very ashamed of myself. Ugh.

4. Loud music on your earphones - I think in about 40 years a trend of hearing loss will emerge that will finally wake people up. You see these people put their ipod earphones on in public places and crank their music to drown out the noise around them. This is bad. These people are going to go deaf. If you really want to listen to music on the subway then you should get a pair of those industrial ear protectors and wear them over your earbuds. That way you can listen to Fall Out Boy at a reasonable level without causing irreparable damage to your eardrums.
You'll thank me when you're an old fart asking your granddaughter what she got for Christmas and you're able to hear her response: A Hoverbike.


5. Reality TV - Why is this still around? I thought the Survivor craze was done with. I can't believe people watch this garbage, living vicariously through these rich assholes in California. Live your life for chrissake! Join a book club or something.

The Flying Fox

It seems unreasonable that these things can actually fly, but it's right there in the name. They feed on nectar, pollen, and fruit. I actually saw these things in Queensland, Australia, and, I must say, they were freaky as hell. At dusk they wake up and swarm around the trees in the hundreds thinking about what they're going to have for dinner. If you're lucky, they will choose mangoes over your blood.

Strange Pet of the Week: The Sugar Glider

This critter hails from Australia and is a member of the Gliding Possum family. Sugar Gliders are very social animals and in the wild they can live together in groups of up to 30.

If you choose to get a sugar glider of your own, make sure it gets lots of attention and care. In the first few months out of the pouch it needs constant affection. The sugar glider can become very depressed if it gets neglected, and it is one of the only animals that can die of loneliness. Also, if you feed them after midnight they will become evil.