Blackout

Well, I did it again. I got blackout drunk on Friday.

I didn't really see it coming. It all started so innocently. Me and my friends were watching the baseball game on my back porch casually drinking beers. A few hours later we were getting pretty toasty and our conversation was getting much louder. My sister told me we should probably move the "party" inside, as our neighbours have small children who are probably trying to fall asleep. So we decide to play Foosball in the basement and listen to NOFX's The Decline, which we all know is a sure-fire way to accelerate one's alcohol intake.

So now its around 11:30 and we are all sufficiently "dumbed-down." We decide to go to the bar. We don't really know why we're going to the bar, probably just so we can say we "did something"on Friday night, rather than having to admit that we spent the night sitting around my house drinking ourselves into oblivion.

So we take the bus down to the bar despite Corky's protests. (you see he believes that he's too good to take the bus. He once said, "I'm not taking the bus, it's for the peons" I wish I was joking but he actually said that) So anyway we take the bus and get in some stupid conversations with some idiots that we all instantly forgot. Sweet.

In good time, we make it to the bar. We stand in the VIP line because we're good friends with one of the bartenders which instantly makes us very important. We get in without much hassle and buy some booze. And the night disintegrates from there into a drunken mess.

Later that night, I shook hands with a homeless guy for some reason and promptly rub my hand into Corky's face, to his disgust. I order poutine from the York St. poutine shack and load on the sauerkraut because that's what's done now. Me, Cork, and Diego share a cab back to Westboro, where we probably had an in-depth and insightful conversation about third-world debt and the responsibilities of the G8 to alleviate global poverty. Or maybe we just talked how good Peter Bjorn and John is. I can't quite recall.

I wake up the next morning minus $60 and my memory. I'm still drunk and my burps taste like sauerkraut and gravy. I put 2 and 2 together and go get a big glass of water.