Here are ten things that I learned my first week here in Toronto, or as it is colloquially known, the Big Smoke.
1. Do not drive through residential streets at midnight on a Monday night if your exhaust pipe has fallen apart and it is dragging on the asphalt. Apparently, people in Toronto find this obnoxious.
2. If you are on the subway, it is mandatory to appear disinterested in life. Expressions of happiness are strictly forbidden.
3. If you live in the Annex, there is a good chance you are:
- a rich U of T student
- an old hippy who feeds your newborn organic pablum
- a crazy who feels you can best serve society by shouting obscenities at passersby
- a lame yuppie desperately trying to remain hip
4. The work world is not hard
5. The real money is in day-trading.
6. The metropass is a good investment.
7. The Bed-in-a-Bag (a portable inflatable bed), although a good idea in principle, is not the most comfortable long term sleeping option.
8. People in big cities dont give a shit.
9. Always carry your apartment keys everywhere you go (all 6 of them). Being locked out is not fun.
10. Driving cars is for suckers.
2 comments:
welcome. i have no advice for you.
Also, when on the Subway don't say anything even mildly uplifting, interesting, or intellectual. Even to your friends. Unless of course you are drunk and your discussion revolves around bees.
I'll be back in Toronto September 2nd. Let's "go out".
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