A Life of Leisure

Hello friends,
I haven't really been doing anything lately so I don't have anything funny to blog about. So I thought I'd give you guys a rundown on how I pass my time on an average weekday, because that's pretty funny in itself. . .and sad. OK here goes:

8:00 Wake up, fully rested. Seeing as I usually have little to nothing to do, I fall back asleep for a couple of hours.

10:30 Wake up again. This time I feel guilty for sleeping so late, so I hop out of bed and head downstairs to the kitchen, or as I call it, The office.

10:45 Make a cup of coffee and turn on CBC Newsworld while reading the paper and checking my email/facebook. This is my most productive time of the day. Information being bombarded at me from every direction while sweet caffeine flows through my body, preparing me for another action packed day. This is the time of day when I research prospective employers, send out resumes, prepare for interviews, and generally get shit done. Unfortunately, this part of the day only lasts until lunch. This is probably one of the reasons I'm still unemployed.

12:30 Ahh lunch, my favourite meal of the day. I'm a traditionalist, so I like the classic soup and sandwich lunch. The soup is usually Lipton Chicken Noodle and the sandwich is usually bologna or ham on a kaiser bun with some olives and mustard. If there happens to be cheese around, which, luckily for me, there is, I'll cut a few slices and throw that into the mix. Top it all off with a big class of chocolate milk or ice tea. Oh man, there's nothing like a good lunch to get you ready for the afternoon.

1:30 Now the afternoon tends to vary from day to day. I try to get some exercise every day, but it usually doesn't end up that way. I would say that about half the time I actually go out for a run or at least use my dad's elliptical trainer for a while. This is done so I can sweat out all the toxins that I invariably consume throughout the week. Today, I decided to get really ambitious and record some music, which is both fun and time-consuming, making it a perfect afternoon activity. Sometimes I'm called upon my Dad to do gopher work for his company. The other week I had to deliver an important package to the Iranian embassy for some sort of authentication (I don't ask questions) which was quite interesting. The guy at the embassy actually asked me if I was Iranian, which may have been a joke, but I'm not too sure.

4:00 Tea time. I take this time to eat an apple and drink some tea so I can feel healthy. I usually take this time to check my email and facebook for the three hundredth time that day. "Oh look! so-and-so is attending some party in a city that I don't live in. . .Cool" "Wow, whats-her-name was tagged in album entitled "Drunk Assholes". . .Neat!"

5:00 As healthy as I'm making myself out to be, I have to admit that alot of the time my apple and tea snack is replaced by cola and potato chips, and this is usually at 5:00 to coincide with the Simpsons on CBC. It's an age old tradition I have: 5:00 pm = potato chips + cola + simpsons on CBC. I no longer try to fight it. . it's who I am.

6:00 Downtime. This part of the day is the downtime before dinner. I usually take this time to do things like blog. Or, if there's a Sens game on, I go to the beer store with my group of cronies and buy a 6-pack of Old Milwaukee tall cans. $10.5o for 3 litres of quality lager. You can't beat that.

7:00 - 12:00 If there's a game on, we usually get together and watch it and drink ourselves into a nice little stupor. If not, then prime time television never ceases to entertain. Family Guy on Sunday, 24 on Monday, House on Tuesday, Lost on Wednesday, The Office on Thursday. Friday: go out on the town and get loser drunk. Saturday: watch hockey and then do the same as Friday. It's really quite simple. There's not much to it. I don't know why everyone complains about how hard life is. All you have to do is resign to living a mundane existence based on a strict schedule (pronounced shhhhedule). Forget your ambitions! Move back in with your parents! Start a blog! Get complacent! I did. . .and now I have a mustache. . .so there you go.