Are we all just a bunch of alcoholics? I mean, seriously, people drink alot. Think about when you and your friends are talking about all the crazy times you've had together over the years. Is it fair to say that the majority of these "crazy times" have been when everyone's been so boozed up that they invariably do something stupid and/or crazy? Nobody talks about that time when everyone sat in the living room and watched Lost for 11 hours. Because that's sad. Instead, we talk about that time that so-and-so threw up in her purse, or when whats-his-name went home with you-know who or the time dude-face funneled, like, 8-teen beers. I mean it's sad to come to this realization but it really raises the question: Is fun alcohol-fueled?
Now I know what some of you are saying: Listen "t-bone," if that is your real name, YOU may need alcohol to have fun, you lush, but I have fun doing wholesome stuff like playing sports and board games and going to the cinema. And if that's the case, good for you. I do have deep appreciation for good wholesome fun, but I think I have deeper appreciation for getting drunk and trying to take over the world. And I guess that's kind of fucked up. But that's just who I am.
So, why do people love booze so much? Chemically, alcohol is a CNS depressant (thank you PHARM 100) which means that it literally SLOWS down your nervous system so that your brain can't think as fast that it normally does (I'm sure Alanna could give you a more detailed account of what's really going on in the brain, but for all intents and purposes I'm not going to get into it). Basically, drunk people are primal versions of themselves, and display various traits of animal behaviour once inebriated.
A few examples of this:
- Bar fights (displays of dominance)
- hooking up with unattractive people (the immediate need for procreation)
- eating poutine and other fast food (fattening up for hibernation)
Too many thoughts = Worry [1]
Too many thoughts + Booze = Happy [2]
Less thoughts = Happy [3]
Too many thoughts + Booze = Happy [2]
Less thoughts = Happy [3]
You can't argue with that, that's just science.
Anyway, thats the post. I'm sorry I didn't really prove anything, thats for the scientists to do. I just think the relationship that humans have with alcohol is interesting, funny, meaningful, and tragic all at the same time and deserves some closer attention. I'll leave you with this quote that was sent in to me by my friend B. Cork. Actually that's too obvious, let's just call him Brian C.
"When you're drunk, you don't say things you don't mean, you say things you mean but shouldn't say."
3 comments:
I want a beer.
No, that's a stupid comment.
Sorry.
Here's a stupider one:
I think there should be a drinking test, sort of like a driving test, except not involving cars in anyway. In this test, you get totally shit-assed and have to act as reasonably as possible. Not reasonable as in do math problems or drive a car, but reasonable as in don't punch anyone and don't drive a car.
Those who cannot act like a reasonable drunk (which equates to a slightly unreasonable person) get their drinking license revoked.
There are clearly many things wrong with alcohol, such as alcoholism to combat/fuel depression. But the worst thing about alcohol is drunken douchebags. I mean, I don't think I've ever said anything insightful when I've been really drunk, but that's okay. The goal is to not call anyone a fucking-faggot or hit anybody or burn anything or kill any endangered species. If you can restrain yourself from doing those things, then you are allowed to drink.
But I suppose the tests would have to be blind, because you can't know that you're supposed to act reasonable.
Maybe we should just ban alcohol altogether. I think they tried that once and if I recall it turned out pretty well.
what is that, array notation?
that aside, i think this was a very interesting topic to tap into, and one that I've been thinking about a lot too. Mostly because i went out last weekend and had a really really shitty time and i blame it on a mix of 'i'm too old for clubbing', 'these drinks are appallingly watered down', 'i've gotten too indie for top 40' and 'that's what i get for coming to the alehouse'. and i worry that we as a generation depend far too much on substance abuse for good times and bonding moments that no one will remember particularly well. that said, i do still enjoy a good wholesome coffee sesh with someone worth talking to, or a walk to the lake or whatever. although both would be better under the influence.
I agree with bernty about the license though. Not just with regards to punching people and talking shit, but also just being 'that girl' in public places. no one likes 'that girl'. she's obnoxious and sometimes has snot dribbling down her upper lip while she smokes outside the bar in the winter in a tube top and mini. and what i really don't get is why 'that girl' wakes up the next day back to normal just to immediately post all the 'that girl' pictures from the night before on facebook with captions like "me and my girlzzzz" and "sexy ladieeeeeessss".
I know people who are awesome drunks, and i'd like to think i can be pretty charming in that state but most people are just really irritating. bad buzz.
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